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THE NE 





H ffarclcal pla^ in Uforee Hcts 



BY 



ARTHUR LAW 



" <( 



AUTHOR OF "THE JUDGE," "A MINT OF MONEY," "DICK 

VENABLES," "CULPRITS," "THE HAPPY RETURN," "THE 

GOLDEN KEY," " AFTER LONG YEARS," " IN THREE 

VOLUMES," " MR. GUFFIN'S ELOPEMENT," 

" chirruper's FORTUNE," " THE 

ladies' idol," ETC., ETC. 



Copyright, 1904, by Samuel French 



CAUTION :— Professionals and Amateurs are hereby notified 

that this play is fully copyrighted under the existing laws of 

the United States Government, and nobody is allowed 

to do this play w^ithout first having obtained 

permission of Samuel French, 24 West 

22d St., New York City, U. S, A. 



New York 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

publisher 

26 WEST 22D STREET 



London 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd 

26 Southampton Street, 

STRAND, LONDON 



^LIBRARY of CONGRESS 
Two Copies Heceived 

NOV 28 1904 

. Copyritrm tntry 

'cuss ^^ XXc4^Nu; 



l!MW^'U«BCa»o« 



X" 



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b^^ 

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THE NEW BOY. 



(Tbaracters. 

First performed at Terry's Theatre, February 31st, 1894, 



Archibald Rennick (aged 30) . . 
Doctor Candy, LL.D. (Principal 

of Birchgrove School, Dulwich; 

aged 60) 

Felix Roach (aged 40) 

Theodore de Brizac (a French 

master ; aged 25) 

Bullock, Major (a pupil ; aged 

17)'.V.: 

• • • 

Mr. ^tubber (aged 50) 

Mrs. Rennick (aged 40). ...... . 

Nancy Roach (Felix Roach's 

Daughter ; aged 16) 

Susan (a servant ; aged 20) .... . 



Mr, Weedon Grossmith. 



Mr. J. Beauchamp. 
Mr. J. D. Beveridge, 

Mr. Sydney Warden. 

Mr. Kenneth Douglas. 
Mr. T. A. Palmer. 
Miss Gladys Homfrey. 

Miss May Palfrey. 
Miss Esme Beringer. 



JZ-3U/3 



THE NEW BOY. 



ACT I. 

SCEHrfE.— Drawing-room in Dr. Candy's house at Duhvich. 
Door L. c. in flat. French windoivs R., opening on gar- 
den. Fireplace l. Sideboard c. , at bach. Bureau r. c. 
at back, the lid open and the desk covered with school 
papers and documents. Ottoman, r. c. Couch, L. c. 
Writing table down L. Small work table down R. Foot- 
stool, R. of ottoman. 

{Enter Nancy and Roach through French windows r. She 
has some flowers in her hand. He is smoking a cigarette. 
They are both dressed for ivalking.) 

Nancy. But really, father, it's so absurd. 

Roach. It's not absurd. 

Nancy. It seems so silly to cut Dr. Candy's flowers in. 
Dr. Candy's garden aiid present them to Dr. Candy. 

Roach, {irritably) Do you suppose he will recognize 
them ? 

Nancy. Well, but 

Roach. It's not the flowers ; it's the attention— the 
little attention. He likes these things, {puffs out smoke) 

Nancy. He doesn't like smoking. 

Roach. Eh? I forgot. Stupid of me ! {thr ores cigar- 
ette out of windowi) Do you think he'll smell it— will he 
smell it? {flicks his handkerchief about to dispel the 
STfioke^ 

Nancy, {putting flowers in vase on meriting table L.) 

Probably. 

Roach. Don't say that. Why didn't you stop me ? 

Nancy. I don't know. 

Roach. And you don't care. You don't appreciate the 
importance of little things, {pointing to carpet) What's 
that ? Gravel on the carpet ! You brought that m. Why 
don't you wipe your shoes ? {goes to fireplace for fire- 
slwvel and hearth-brush) 

Nancy, {aside) Oh, bother I 

Roach. You know how particular Candy is. 

3 



4 THE NEW BOY. 

Nancy. Then he shouldn't be. 

Roach. I daresay he shouldn't be ; but he is. 

Nancy. It's nonsense. I've no patience with it. 

Roach, (siveeping up gravel) You have no proper feel- 
ing. A whiff of smoke, a few grains of sand, and we may 
be out of his will. 

Nancy. How do you know we are in it ? (goes to side- 
board at back and puts floivers in vase) 

Roach. Hah ! Your poor mother all over ! Always 
looking at the dark side of things, {standing upright) 
Can I ever sufficiently impress upon you the fact that Dr. 
Candy is happily alone in the world — that we are his sol& 
relations ? 

Nancy. We are very distant ones. 

Roach. We icere. That is why I took the house next 
door, {points to windows with shovel and spills grai^el on 
ottoman) Oh, confound it ! (Nancy laughs) It's noth- 
ing to laugh at. {brushes gravel off ottoman into shovel) 
Yes ; fortunately for us, Candy has no other relatives. 

Nancy. None at all ? I thought I've heard you speak 
of 

Roach. Oh ! ah ! you mean Mrs. Bolder— Martha 
Bolder. She's out of the running, {goes to the window 
and throws out gravel) 

Nancy. Why ? 

Roach. He, providentially, quarreled with her many^ 
years ago. 

Nancy. Oh ! 

Roach. She made an imprudent marriage to which he 
strongly objected, and he has never spoken to her since. 
I believe — if the truth were known — he wanted to marry 
her himself. In fact, I'm inclined to think she jilted him 
for Bolder. 

Nancy. Where do they live? {goes back to writing 
table L. and puts rest of flowers in vase) 

Roach. Somewhere near Manchester. She is a widow^ 
now, with one child — a boy. 

Nancy. What relation is she to Dr. Candy ? 

Roach. She is the — daughter of a first cousin. 

Nancy. Then she is his first cousin, once removed ? 

Roach. Yes ; once removed, always removed. We 
shall hear nothing more of Martha, thank goodness ! (lie 
is still holding the brush and shovel) 

{Enter Dr. Candy, door l. c. He has an open letter in his 

hand.) 

Candy. Ah, Nancy, my child. 

Nancy. Well, Dr. Candy, {turning her head. At 
writing table) 



THE NEW BOY. 5 

EOACH. How do you do, my dear Horace ? 
Candy, (tapping letter. Comes down c.) I have just 
liad a letter fvora— (staring at Eoach)— VN^hat m the world 
are you doing with those ? , ov. » 

Roach, (looking at brush and shovel) These ? Uh ! 
This careless girl of mine brought in some gravel on her 
shoes, and I— in short, I've been sweepmg it up. (goes lo 
Jireplace) 

Candy. Why trouble yourselt ( 
Roach. A pleasure, dear Horace, a pleasure. 
Candy. I've just had a letter from Martha Bolder. 
<R0ACH drops the shovel on the hearth with a clatter) 
Oreat heavens, Felix ! 

Roach. I beg your pardon. , , ,, 01 • 

Candy, (aside) Clumsy idiot ! (aloud) She is a cousm 
of yours, Nancy, (sits on ottoman R. c.) 

Nancy. I know, (sits on chair by writing table, fasten- 
ing tivo flowers togethe7) 

Candy. Ah. Some years ago we had a little difference. 
Roach. She behaved shamefully, (comes c.) 
Candy. What do you know about it ? ^.^ , -, 

Roach. Well— she treated you with ingratitude, dear 

Candy. We were both in the wrong. 

Roach. I will not hear you say a word against yourselt. 

Candy. Humph. She has been a widow for over a year, 
and— I want bygones to be bygones. 

Roach. Be careful, Horace ; pray be careful. 

Candy. I wrote to her a few days ago, asking her to 
oome and pay me a visit, and to bring her boy. 

Nancy. Are they coming ? 

Candy. Yes. 

Roach, (aside) Oh ! -n i i, *. ^ 

Candy. She has written to say they will be here to-day. 

Roach. To-day ? ! ! 

Candy. Have you any objection ? , , , 

Ro 4lCH. My dear Horace ! If you are pleased ; why 

Candy. I am pleased. I dislike family quarrels. 
Roach, (approvingly) Ah! ..i ^r ^i. qu^ 

Candy. And I want to make friends with Martha, bbe 

is my nearest relation, and I am getting an old man. 

Roach, (blandly) Younger every day— younger every 

day. Nancy, dear. 
Nancy. Yes, father. ^ t^ n a ^^ 

Roach. I thought you had a flower for Dr. Candy s 

buttonhole? .. „ , . , „ . 

Nancy. If he would care for it? (rises and goes to 

cTndy. Eh? Oh. Is that for me? Very good of you, 
my dear. (Nancy i)ztfs flower in Candy's button-hole) 



6 THE NEW BOY. 

Roach. My little girl never forgets you, dear Horace, 
She's her father's daughter, {sits on couch L. ) 

Candy, (patting Fancy's head) Knm^h. SheremiDds 
me of her mother. 

(Enter Theodore de Brizac, d. l. c.) 

De B. I beg your pardon, Dr. Candy ; but this being a 
half-holiday, I thought the boys might as well begin foot- 
ball this afternoon. (sta7ids up stage at back) 

Candy. Certainly, Monsieur de Brizac, certainly. 

Nancy, (going up to de Brizac) How de do, Mon- 
sieur de Brizac ? 

De B. How do you do. Mademoiselle? (de Brizao 
<ind Nancy glance and smile at each other meaningly) 

Nancy, (aside) He's had his hair cut. How well it 
suits him ! 

De B. (aside) Ah ! but she is divine ! 

Nancy, (aside, to de Brizac) I'm going into the gar- 
den, (goes R.) 

Roach. Does Martha stay with you some days, Horace ? 

Candy. Some weeks, I hope. 

Roach, (blandly) Indeed, (aside, incensed) Tchah I 
(Nancy looks at de Brizac and exits r.) 

De B. (going r. ) I think I will go and have a look at 
the playing field and see what state the floor — the turf 
is in for football after all this rain. 

Candy. Do, de Brizac, do. (rises and goes up stage. 
Exit de Brizac r. ) 

Roach, (rising and going q.) Anything I can do, dear 
Horace, in the way of meeting Martha at the station, getting 
her a bun, or a fly, or — ? Make use of me, you know; 
make use of me. 

Candy. I don't know what train she'll come by, or I'd 
meet her myself. Perhaps I shouldn't know her. 

Roach. That is most probable. She must be a plain^ 
elderly woman now. 

Candy. She was never plain, (at door T,. G.) 

Roach, (going towards Candy) But after fifteen years t 
Time doesn't stand still — except with you. 

Candy. Humph, (musingly) Poor Martha ! I kissed 
her once, (exit D. L. c.) 

Roach, (greatly vexed) He's thinking of old times ! 
Sentimental rubbish ! It's a bad sign — a bad sign ! (thrusts: 
his hands in his pockets and goes r. slowly) What's the 
use of self -denial ; what's the good of self-sacrifice ? For 
years I've humored his infernel fancies, eaten his tough 
mutton, praised his cheap sherry, agreed with him in 
everything, listened to his old stories, laughed at his stalet 
jokes, and all for this — this ! (stumbles against footstool 
near windows ; kicks it away savagely and exits r.) 



THE NEW BOY. 7 

{Enter Susan d. l. c.) 
SUSAN. This way, Ma'am, please, (stands L. of door) 

(Enter Mrs. Rennick d. l. c.) 
Mrs R. Doctor Candy is expecting us. 

MRS^R ^(Sde^Now^re is that husband of mine ? 
(cS/aJToo1.t,o#D.L.C.) Archibald! Archibald, 

"^^RENNiCK. (outside) One moment. I've dropped a bis- 

''''mrs. R. Never mind that. Do make haste, (comes 

"^^RENNICK. It's all right ; I've found it. 

(FrifPr Rennickd. l. c. He has a half-eaten Uscuit in 
(Enter Rennick^^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^^^ .^ ^^^^ ^^^^^^ ^ 

MT?ci R I couldn't think what was keeping you. 

RENNICK. (holding out Uscuit) It rolled under the hat- 
^tand (foofcLg at biscuit) Oh, it's covered with fluff ! 
ff^SusAN) He?e. Take it away, please, (gives Uscmt to 

^^lus^AN^'ye/lir'i^ll tell my master you are here 
Ma'ant (exUDi^. c. Mrs. Rennick is very nervous and 

•^tlRS^R. Don't eat any more now, Archibald, (talces 

^''^^!l:''7^'i^l. I'm starving I You forget I've had 
nothing since an eight o'clock breakfast. 

Mrs R. You made a very good one. 

Rennick. Good one! Only a chop and a couple of eggs. 

i^oesupstagelo^n^^^^ too nervous. Archi- 

baM de!r, I w^^h now we hid told Doctor Candy of our 
marriage beforehand, (goes to L.) 

Rennick. I don't agree with you. , He mi^ht ha^ re 
fnspd to see us ; whereas, now he can't help himselt. 

Mrs R But he objected so strongly to my first mar- 
riage ;" and when he hears I have married a second time I 

"^E^N^icT -"^^^lA Is he averse to marriage 
on principle ? 
Mrs. R. Absolutely. -, , x t 

RENNICK. And yet he is a schoolmaster ! 
Mrs. R. What has that to do witn it :• 
^ RENNICK. If there were no marriages he couldn t keep 
a school-at least, not a respectable one. , 

Mrs. R. At any rate, I am glad we left Freddy witli tne 



8 THE NEW BOY. 

luggage at the station till we see how Doctor Candy re- 
ceives us. I hope Freddy won't get into mischief. 

Rennick. He can't. He has only got tuppence. 

Mrs. R. He is such a boy for automatic sweets. 

Rennick. Then he is sure to like Candy. (laughs) 
That's very good. That's one of my own. (puts down his 
hat on chair above windoiv) 

Mrs. R. Don't jest, dear, don't jest. Doctor Candy is 
our only hope. We have come to our last shilling. 

Rennick. Perhaps he w^ill cut us off with another. 

Mrs. R. Archibald, we are beggars ! (sits on couch L.) 

Rennick. We're worse. We can't earn our own living, 
and beggars can. 

Mrs. R. It's not for want of trying. You did very 
nearly get that secretaryship. 

Rennick, Yes ; there were only thirteen hundred appli- 
cants that time, (sits on ottoman r. c.) 

Mrs. R. They required so many languages. 

Rennick. Ah. If I had only known Swedish, Turkish, 
Russian and Japanese, I believe I should have got it. 

Mrs. R. It was most unfortunate your being unable to 
retain that appointment in Manchester. 

Rennick. Humph. Directing envelopes at a shilling a 
thousand. 

Mrs. R. And the wretches discharging you because they 
said you weren't quick enough. 

Rennick. Yes ; it took me a week doing a thousand. It 
didn't pay for my 'bus fare. Martha, we ought never to 
have expended our last twenty pounds on that typewriting 
machine for you. 

Mrs. R. No. I could never have learnt it. I was always 
a bad pianist. 

Rennick. That tax collectorship would have suited me, 
but they said I was too young for a position of trust. 

Mrs. R. Too young ? Didn't you tell them your age ? 
Didn't you say you were thirty? 

Rennick. Of course I did, but they would not believe me. 

Mrs. R. Archibald, you must grow a beard ! 

Rennick. My love, it is no use attempting impossibilities. 

Mrs. R. Oh ! Archibald, Archibald, why did you invest 
our little all in that horrid Dry Champagne Company ? 

Rennick. The company was all right ; it was the di- 
rectors. 

Mrs. R. And the chairman was an Earl. 

Rennick. And such a thirsty one. In fact, all the 
directors were as dry as the champagne. 

Mrs. R. So much for a limited company. 

Rennick. Everything was limited with the exception of 
refreshments. Well, it's no use crying over spilt cham- 
pagne. The money is gone. 



THE NEW BOY. 9 

Mrs. R. But Doctor Candy is left to us. He is our last 
-enhance, {rises and goes to Rennick) Archibald, dear, I 
know your noble nature. 

Rennick. So do I. ♦ 

Mrs. R. You have a colossal intellect. 

Rennick. I have. 

Mrs. R. Of which you are justly proud. 

Rennick. I am. 

Mrs. R. I want you to humble yourself for my sake, 
^e conciliatory with Horace. Do not crush him w^th your 
superior attainments. Let him imagine he is your equal 
in every way. Will you do this ? 

Rennick. (rising) Martha, I will. I will not look 
down on Candy. I will stoop to him. I will even make my- 
self small for your sake. 

Mrs. R. (throwing her arms around him) My hus- 
band ! My king ! 

Rennick. Martha, you're trembling ; you're quite 
nervous. 

Mrs. R. I feel so upset at the prospect of meeting 
Dr. Candy. What iviU he say when he sees you ? 

Rennick. I suppose he'll say, how-de-do ? 

Mrs. R. I do so wish we had prepared him. 

Rennick. You think it would have let him down easier ? 

Mrs. R. I am sure of it. 

Rennick. (going r.) Very well, then ; you see him 
alone first — see him alone, and break me to him gently. 

Mrs. R. (admiringly) Oh, what a head you have, dear ! 
(he takes up his hat from chair) 

Rennick. Yes, haven't I ? 

Dr. Candy, (outside) And, Susan, — I am not at home to 
anyone this afternoon. 

Mrs. R. Here he is ! (pushes him towards windows) 

Renniok. I'll go into die garden. 

Mrs. R. Yes, yes. (pushing him) 

Rennick. Break me to him gently. 

Mrs. R. (pushing him) Yes, yes — go ! go ! 

Rennick. One moment. Give me the biscuits, (snatches 
paper hag from her and exits quickly by ivindows r.) 

Mrs. R. Oh dear ! (putting her hand on her heart) Oh — 
how my heart is beating ! 

(Enter Dr. Candy d. l. c.) 

Candy. Ah, my dear Martha ; so glad to see you. (holds 
out both his hands) Really this is most kind of you. 

Mrs. R. (taking his hands) My dear Doctor Candy. 

Candy. Horace — the old Horace ; at least — no, not the 
old Horace — a new and emended edition. 

Mrs. R. You are veiy good — Horace. 

Candy. That tells me I am forgiven. 



10 THE NEW BOY. 

Mrs. R. I have nothing to forgive. 

Candy. Yes, yes. Sit down, Martha, sit down, {they 
sit side by side on ottoman r. c.) I have felt this — long 
estrangement ijiore than you will believe. 

Mrs. R. I have felt it too. 

Candy. But I was too proud — perhaps we were both toa 
proud to be the first to say let us make it up and be friends. 

Mrs. R. Perhaps. 

Candy. Well, better late than never ; and indeed, when 
I look at you, the — how long is it ? — fifteen years seem liker 
yesterday. Time has dealt lightly with you, Martha. 

Mrs. R. And with you, Horace. 

Candy, {pleased) Well, so they tell me. And how ia 
your boy ? 

Mrs. R. Very well, thank you. 

Candy. Didn't you bring him with you ? 

Mrs. R. I left him at the station in charge of the lug- 
gage. 

Candy. You should have brought him up, luggage and 
all. I'll send my man down presently to fetch them. I 
expect you to pay me a nice long visit. I am not going to- 
let you run away again in a hurry. 

Mrs. R. You are most kind. Horace 

Candy. Yes ? 



Mrs. R. When I — when I was left a widow 

Candy. A year ago, I believe ? 

Mrs. R. Eighteen months. 

Candy. So long ? 

Mrs. R. I naturally felt very lonely. 

Candy. Yes, yes. 

Mrs. R. Poor Richard's pension died with him, and I 
was left in very straitened circumstances. 

Candy, (aside) I wish I had known. 

Mrs. R. I was troubled with anxiety as to my boy's 
future. 

Candy. Ah. 

Mrs. R. a Mr. Rennick — a dear, good, noble man — was 
exceedingly kind to me. 

Candy. Was he ? 

Mrs. R. He sympathized deeply with me in my un- 
fortunate position, and 

Candy. Wanted to marry you ? 

Mrs. R. He did. 

Candy. Well, many women in the like case would have 
accepted him. 

Mrs. R. {hopefidly) You — you feel that ? 

Candy. I do, but — I am very glad you refused him. 
You decided most wisely. I hope I am not speaking sel- 
fishly when I say, that had you acted otherwise it would, 
have been a very great blow to me. 



THE NEW BOY. H 

Mrs. R. (glancing nervously at windows, aside) Oh, 
Archibald I 

Candy. Martha, I will be frank with you. We parted 
in bitterness years ago, and I have regretted it ever since. 
It was only the other day — as you know — that I heard you 
were a widow, and I at once determined to act as I thought 
rightly towards you. I altered my will, and to you — my 
nearest relative — I have left nearly everything. 

Mrs. R. My dear Horace ! 

Candy. At the same time, I think it only right to tell 
you that should you change your state — in short, marry 
again — I should make another disposition of my property. 

Mrs. R. (desperately) But, Horace, I must tell you 
that 

Candy, (rising) There, there ; don't thank me. I 
have only done what was right, so let us say no more about 
it. I'll go and send my man to the station for your boy, 
(takes out his watch). 

Rennick. (outside) Oh ! They've hit me ! 

Mrs. R. (rising—aside) Archibald ! 

Rennick. (outside) Stop it, I say, stop it ! 

Candy, (as Mrs. R. goes to windows) It's only the boys» 

(Rennick appears in ivindoivs.) 

Rennick. Martha, Martha 

Mrs. R. (aside to Rennick) Go back, go back ! 

Rennick. (entering) I can't — I won't. Those young 
beasts have been chucking stones at me, and one of them 
hit me on the calf ! (puts up his foot on chair down r. and 
examines his leg) 

Candy, (turning) Hullo, hullo ; who is this ? Eh, what ? 
(to Mrs. R) . Is this your son ? (comes down) 

Mrs. R. (aside) My son ! (touches Rennick to draw his^ 
attention to Candy) My dear ! 

Rennick. (fo Candy) 1 beg your pardon. I didn't see 
you. 

Candy. Come here, my little man, come here. 

Rennick. (advancing and holding out his hand) How 
do you do, Doctor Candy ? Pleased to meet you. 

Candy. Ha, ha, ha ! (patting Rennick on the head) 
Thank you, my little fellow, thank you. 

Rennick. I've often heard of you. 

Candy. From your mother. 

Rennick. (puzzled) My mother ? 

Mrs. R. (signing to him) Yes, dear — yes. 

Rennick. (to Candy) My mother was a friend of 
yours ? 

Candy, (patting his head) Ha, ha ! Before you were 
born, my little fellow, years before you were born. 



12 THE NEW BOY. 

Rennick. Really ! (aside) He seems a friendly old 
man but I wish lie wouldn't pat my head. 

Candy, (putting his hand uiider Rennick's chin) 
Humpli, I don't see any likeness here ! 

Rennick. Don't you ? 

Candy. Not a trace of your mother. 

Rennick. Isn't there ? 

Mrs. R. No, he — he takes after his father 

Rennick. Do I ? (to Candy) I hardly remember him. 
Tou see, after so many years 

Mrs. R. Months, dear, months. 

Rennick. Months ! Why, I was only thirteen. 

Candy. Then now you are a little over fourteen. 

Rennick. (laughing) Yes — a little over, (aside) He's 
a funny old man. 

Mrs. R. (aside to Rennick) For heaven's sake don't 
undeceive him ! 

Rennick. (aside) What does she mean ? 

Candy, (aside) An old-fashioned boy this. Evidently 
a mother's child. 

Rennick. Well, it's exceedingly kind of you, Doctor 
Candy, to ask us to pay you a visit ; and it gives me great 
pleasure to make your acquaintance. 

Candy. Ha, ha ! My dear little chap, (jpats Ren- 
nick's head and goes to Mrs. R. ) 

Rennick. (aside) This man will give me a headache. 
(puts his hat on ivriting table L.) 

Candy. He's a fine little fellow, Martha, and I like 
him ; but — you will excuse me — I think he has been too 
closely tied to your apron-strings, (signs to Mrs. Ren- 
nick to sit on ottoman r. c, , which she does) 

Rennick. I always said so. 

Candy. Ha, ha ! He would be the better for a little 
m.ore freedom. 

Rennick. Quite so. You've no idea what an exagger- 
ated objection she has to clubs, late hours, and bachelor 
parties. 

Candy, (laughing loudly) He's delightful — delightful I 
(sits on chair l. of Mrs. Rennick) 

Rennick. (aside) He laughs at everything I say. 

Candy. Now, my dear Martha, I am going to make you 
a proposal, (smiling) No — I don't mean marriage. 

Rennick. (laughing) Oh, don't mind me, Candy, 
(about to sit on chair by writing table L.) 

Candy, (sternly) Sssh — sssh. You talk too much. 

Rennick. (surprised) Well, upon my word ! 
' Mrs. R. (warningly) My dear ! 

Rennick. (aside) I forgot. I promised I would stoop 
to him. (sits on chair Ij.) 

Candy. Yv^ell now, Martha — my school matron, who 



THE NEW BOY. la 

has been with me for some years, left me last week to get 
married. Silly woman ; she was old enough to know 
better ; she was quite your age. 

Mrs. R. {nervously) Indeed ! 

Candy. And she's married a man about ten years her 
junior. We know what the end of that is, as a rule. It 
almost invariably — (looks at Rennick, coughs, turns his 
chair ivith its back to Rennick, and whispers into Mrs. 
Rennick's ear) 

Rennick. (aside) I don't think much of Candy's 
manners. 

Candy. However, she is gone, and I was wondering 
this morning whether you would care to accept the vacant 
post? 

Mrs. R. Well, I — T think I'm a pretty good manager. 

Rennick. (Jocularly) She manages me most success-^ 
fully. 

Candy, (annoyed at the intey^ruption) Sssh ! sssh ! 
Humph. Ah. All I want is a good, kind, motherly per- 
son like yourself to exercise a general supervision, see ta 
the boys' clothes, and look after their washing. 

Rennick. (rising) Oh, I don't think she could wash- 
the boys. 

Mrs. R. My dear, Doctor Candy doesn't mean 

Candy. As to your boy, he can join the school, and 
that will save tiie expense of his education. 

Rennick. Ah, that would be a great advantage to 
us. 

Candy, (looking at Rennick) Is he fairly advanced in. 
his studies ? 

Rennick. Yes, fairly so. 

Candy. How is your Latin ? 

Rennick. (puzzled) My Latin? 

Candy. Have you read Virgil ? 

Rennick. Not lately. 

Candy. You know Caesar? 

Rennick. Well I used to. 

Candy, (sternly) What? (rises) 

Rennick. Of course I'm a little rusty. 

Candy. How many books of Euclid have you ? 

Rennick. I haven't any at all. 

Candy. Chut, chut, chut ! What was the date of the 
signing of Magna Ciiarta ? 

Rennick. I'm hanged if I know. 

Candy. What, sir? 

Mrs. R. (terribly nervous) I'm afraid he — he — he has^ 
forgotten a great deal. 

Candy. He is lamentably ignorant. 

Rennick. We can't all be schoolmasters. You see, 
you've kept it up. 



14 THE NEW BOY. 

Candy. Sssh I That'll do, that'll do, my boy. 

Rennick. (aside) He's a domineering old man ! 1 
shall not stoop much longer ! 

Candy. Ah, well, well — come now — if a herring and a 
half cost three half-pence. 

Rennick. (banteringly) Oh, go on ! If Dick's father 
was Tom's son, what relation was Dick to Tom ? 

Candy, (laughing in spite of himself) Ha, ha, ha ! 
He's a character ! {clapping Rennick on the hack) The 
little chap is quite a character ! Ha, ha, ha ! 

Rennick. {laughing) Go along with you ! {clapping 
Candy on the back) Oh, you old humbug ! Ha, ah, ah ! 
(aside) I slapped him that time. 

Candy, {drawing himself up with great digyiity — aside) 
I shall have to take this boy in hand at once, {school-hell 
rings) Ah, the school bell, {to Mrs. Rennick) You'll 
excuse me for a few minutes, won't you ? 

Mrs. R. Certainly. 

Candy, {going up to door l. c. ) Then, we may consider 
it settled. You will accept the post, Martha, and our 
young friend shall join the school to-morrow. I shan't be 
long. 

Rennick. Don't hurry yourself. 

Candy. Hah ! {exit, d. l. c.) 

Rennick. What a rum old man ! 

Mrs. R. {rising) Oh, Archibald, Archibald — don't you 
see? 

Rennick. See ! what ? 

Mrs. R. He thinks you are Freddy. 

Rennick. {staggers hack against couch) Thinks I'm. 
Freddy ? 

Mrs. R. Yes. 

Rennick. Does he think you are my mother ? 

Mrs. R. Of course he does ! 

Rennick. Well, I'm blowed ! 

Mrs. R. He mustn't know the truth. If he does we are 
ruined. 

Rennick. Ruined ? 

Mrs. R. Absolutely. Archibald, dear, he has left me 
everything — everything. 

Rennick. Oh, I say I 

Mrs. R. Because he believes I am a widow. 

Rennick. A widow ! 

Mrs. R. He said, if I married again he would alter his 
will! 

Rennick. What's to be done ? 
« Mrs. R. We must keep up the deception for the pres- 
ent. 

Rennick. And stay here ? 

Mrs. R. Certainly. What excuse could we make for 



THE NEW BOY. 15 

leaving suddenly? We must remain for a time. After 
a month or two we may manage to get away. 

Rennick. It's all very well for you but, i've got to go 
to school again, (goes L. , and takes up his hat) 

Mrs. R. My dearest, there is no help for it. "We must 
grin and bear it. 

Rennick. Yes, you may grin, but I've got to bear it. 

Mrs. R. Darling, you promised me you would 

Rennick. Oh, I know, I said I would stoop, but this is 
^oing down on all fours, (goes R. , she following him) 

Mrs. R. What is a little present discomfort with a for- 
tune in the future ? Archibald, Archibald — you will not 
fail me ? 

Rennick. (turning) No, Martha, I will not. I have 
fought the world before ; I will stand up to it again. I 
will brace myself to the attack and my indomitable cour- 
age will pull me through ! 

Mrs. R. (throtving her arms round him) My lion- 
hearted husband ! 

Rennick. But — it has just occurred to me ; if I am to be 
Ereddy, what is to be done with the boy ? 

Mrs. R. We must send him up to London at once. 

Rennick. To the workhouse ? 

Mrs. R. To your sister Emily. She will take charge of 
him and say nothing. 

Rennick. She may say nothing, but she'll want some- 
thing. 

Mrs. R. We'll arrange all that. You must go to the 
station and send him off without delay. Leave your port- 
manteau in the cloak room, and bring back Freddy's trunk 
with you. 

Rennick. Why Freddy's trunk ? 

Mrs. R. You will want his things. 

Rennick. Want his things ? 

Mrs. R. You can't bring your own here. They would 
see at once your wardrobe couldn't belong to a boy. 

Rennick. And my linen is all marked with my name ! 

Mrs. R. Exactly. You can wear Freddy's. You are 
both of a size. 

Rennick. He's longer in the legs, but I'm fuller in the 
waist. Well, I'll be off. (turning up stage) 

Mrs. R. Not that way. You may meet Horace. Go 
loj the garden. 

Rennick. (going h.) Good. I'll slip out that way. 

Mrs. R. Yes, yes ; be quick ! (turning up L. c.) 

Rennick. One moment. 

Mrs. R. No. Do go, dear I 

Rennick. Yes, all right, (stopping and looking off r.) 
Hullo ! Who is this ? There's someone coming ! (goes 
up R.) 



le THE NEW BOY. 

{Enter Felix Roach and Nancy through windows r.) 

Roach. We shall be cut out, I tell you, completely cut 
out by this woman and her — {aside to Nancy) They have- 
come ! {aloud, affecting pleased surprise) Why — is it 
really? {going to Mrs. Rennick with outstretched hand) 
My dear Mrs. Bolder, I am so charmed to see you. 

Rennick. {aside) What a pretty little girl ! 

Mrs. R. (fo Roach) Mr. 

Roach. No, no ; don't say you have forgotten me.. 
Felix — your cousin, Felix Roach. 

Mrs. R. {recognizing him) Oh — yes — to be sure. 

Roach, {shaking hands ivarmly) I was so delighted. 
when dear Horace told me you were coming. 

Rennick. (aside) Felix Roach ! Why, do I know that 
name ? Hah ! The Dry Champagne Company ! {puts hat 
on chair above window) 

Roach. Nancy — your cousin Martha. 

Nancy, {going to Mrs. R. ) Cousin Martha. 

Mrs. R. How do you do, my dear ? 

Roach, (going to Rennick) Ah, is this your boy? 
And how are you, my little man, how are you? {shakes- 
hands with Rennick. Nancy shakes hands with Mrs. 
Rennick, ivho kisses her) 

Rennick. Fairly bobbish. 

Nancy. I'm very glad to see you, cousin Martha. 

Roach. Nancy; this is — {to Rennick) I forget your 
name ? 

Rennick. Archibald. (Nancy crosses to Rennick) 

Mrs. R. {quickly) Freddy. 

Rennick. Yes, Freddy Archibald. 

Nancy, (giving her hand to Rennick) How de do ? 

Roach. Come, come ; kiss each other. Cousins, you 
know, cousins. 

Rennick. (aside) This is a little awkward, (kisses- 
Nancy) 

Mrs. R. (she is Jealous) Freddy! 

Rennick. Yes. 

Mrs. R. Don't be forward, dear. 

Rennick. (to Nancy) Do you mind ? 

Nancy. Not at all. Do you ? 

Rennick. Not particularly. (Roach laughs and Mrs. 
Rennick looks annoyed) 

Roach. He's a fine little fellow, dear Martha, and the 
image of you. 

Mrs. R. (forcing a smile) You think so? Freddy,, 
don't forget you have to go to the station, love. 

Rennick. (taking cigarette case out of his pocket) No, 
I'm just going, (to Nancy) You'll excuse me ? (crosses 
to Roach) 



THE NEW BOY. 17 

EOACH. (to Rennick) You know the way ? 

Rennick. Yes, thanks. (holding cigarette case to 
Roach) Have a cigarette ? 

Roach, (surj^rised) What ! Why, you don't mean 

Mrs. R. {quickly) They are chocolate ones, of course. 

Roach. Oh ! chocolate. 

Rennick. Oh, yes, chocolate ones, (laughing to him- 
self) 

Nancy, (aside to Rennick) I love chocolate, (takes a 
cigarette from his case before he can prevent her) Do let me 
have one. (Mrs. Rennick and Roach sit on couch l.) 

Rennick. (aside to Nancy) I say, look here, don't — 
don't ! 

Nancy, (having put cigarette in her mouth, aside to 
him) Oh, you naughty boy ; they're tobacco ! 

Rennick.' (aside to Nancy) Have you ever smoked 
one ? 

Nancy, (affirmatively) Hem. 

Rennick. (aside to Nancy) Like it ? 

Nancy, (affirmatively) Hem. (aside to Rennick) 
Come into the garden. 

Rennick. (aside to Nancy) Eh ? 

Nancy, (aside to Rennick) Come into the garden and 
have a puff. (Rennick takes his hat from chair) 

Mrs. R. (to Roach) Quite so, quite so. (to Rennick) 
Don't lose any more time, dear. Do make haste I 

Rennick. All right. I'm going. 

Nancy, (aside to Rennick) Got any matches ? 

Rennick. Yes. 

Nancy, (aside to Rennick) I can see you're a wicked 
boy, and I know I shall like you. (puts her arm round 
his neclc) Come along, Freddy. 

Rennick. (aside) This is getting exceedingly awkward. 

Nancy. Come along, do. (Rennick and Nancy dance 
off together by windows r. , she with her left arm round 
his neck) 

Roach, (looking after them) Ah, ha ; they have soon 
made friends, haven't they ? 

Mrs. R. (very jealous, looking after them) Yes — yes. 
(aside ) How dare she ? 

Roach. They will be great chums, I can see. 

Mrs. R. I am sure they will, (aside) Forward little 
flirt ! 

Roach. Nancy has her father's affectionate nature. 

Mrs. R. Has she ? (aside) And Archibald is so weak ! 

Roach. You stay some time with dear Horace, I hope? 

Mrs. R. I remain permanently. 

Roach. Permanently? 

Mrs. R. (aside, rising and going r.) He'll never get 
away to the station. 
2 



18 THE NEW BOY. 

Roach. Did you say — permanently ? 

Mrs. R. He has offered me the post of Matron. 

Roach, (rising) Matron ! ! 

Mrs. R, (aside) If she goes with him and sees Freddy, 
we are lost ! 

Roach, (aside) She's a fixture — an infernal fixture! 
(aloud) My dear Martha, I am surprised — indeed I am 
pained that Horace should have thought fit to ask you to 
fill a — well — a menial office. He should remember your 
station ! 

Mrs. R. (absently — looking off R.) He will forget all 
about the station ! 

Roach. But he mustn't, he shan't, (going up stage) I 
will go myself and 

Mrs. R. (turning quickly) No, no ! J will go. 

Roach, (coming down) You will leave at once ! 

Mrs. R. Yes, I 

Roach. I think you are quite right. 

Mrs. R. If Dr. Candy returns, you will make my 
excuses ? 

Roach. Certainly. Leave it to me. 

Mrs. R. (going n.) You see, I left my luggage in the 
cloak room. 

Roach, (aside) A good thing she didn't bring it up. 

Mrs. R. (aside) I must find Archibald. 

Roach. You are acting so wisely — most judiciously. 
(taking her hand in both of his) Good-bye, dear Martha, 
good-bye. Charmed to have met you. God bless you. 
(exit Mrs. Rennick by window r.) 

Mrs. R. (outside) Freddy ! Freddy, dear ! I want you. 

Roach. She is gone, really gone ! How providential 
my seeing lier alone ! Just imagine Horace offering her a 
home ! It's a mercy I was able to put a spoke in his 
wheel. If Martha once got a footing in the house I should 
have been out of it — completely out of it. 

(Enter Dr. Candy, d.l.c.) 

Candy. Oh, you're here. Where is Martha ? 

Roach. I regret to say, my dear Horace, she is gone. 

Candy. Gone. 

Roach. I spoke plainly ; I reasoned with her, but it 
was of no avail. 

Candy . What do you mean ? 

Roach. I said in offering her a home you were actuated 
by the purest kindness. She replied : Perhaps so, but it is 
mistaken kindness. 

Candy. What ? 

Roach. Why — I urged, why should you call the post 
of Matron a menial one? You cannot believe that our 
dear Horace would intentionally insult you. 



THE NEW BOY. 19 



Candy. But she could not- 



ROAGH. She returned : Intentional or not, the insult 
Teraains. 

Candy. Bless my heart ! 

Roach. Then 1 lost my temper. I had kept it hitherto, 
but at this — gross ingratitude — 1 was roused. I spoke 
warmly — not intemperately, but warmly — and, witliout 
another word, she left the house, {loaviiig his hand 
toivards windows r.) 

Candy. But when I made the proposition she seemed 
pleased ! 

Roach, {shrugging his shoidders) Ah ! 

Candy. She expressed no resentment I 

Roach. But it rankled — it evidently rankled. 

Candy, {going to d.l.c.) If she had only hinted — dear, 
dear, dear ! 

Roach. {foUoiving him) I'm sorry you should be annoyed, 
Horace. 

Candy. Annoyed ! I am pained — greatly distressed. 
I shall write to her. 

Roach. Would that be wise ? 

Candy. Wise ? 

Roach, Would it be — dignified ? 

Candy. Dignified ! She is sensitive ; I was indiscreet ; 
1 have wounded her. Teh, tcli, tch ! Poor Martha ! I 
shall write to her at once, {exit d.l.c.) 

Roach. But, my dear Horace ; if you would allow me 
to suggest — {aside) If he insists upon writing, dear 
Martha shall hear from me too. {exit D.L.C.) 

Nancy, {outside) There, tlirow that cigarette away, 
you naughty boy. I know j'ou'll make yourself ill. 

{Enter Nancy and Rennick hy windoivs R.) 

Rennick. I wonder you are not. 

Nancy. I'm older than you. 

Rennick. How old are you? {puts doivn hat on otto- 
^man r.c.) 

Nancy. You should never ask a woman her age. 

Rennick. A woman ! Ha, ha ! 

Nancy. So I am — very nearly. I shall be seventeen 
next month. Then I shall put up my hair and be very- 
particular. 

Rennick. So long as your hair is down I suppose you 
can do as you like ? 

Nancy. Oh, yes. It's one of our unwritten laws. I 
say, Freddy, are you really fourteen? 

Rennick. Yes, really. Do you think I look younger ? 

Nancy. I should have thought you were older. 

Rennick. Would you? They say I've got on rather 
fast. I've made rapid progress. 



20 THE NEW BOY. 

Nancy. So I should imagine. Come and sit down. 
{they sit side by side on couch L.c.) I can always talk 
better sitting down. There ; now we are very snug and 
cosy, aren't we ? (links her arm in his) 
Eennick. {nervously) Y-e-s — thank you. 
Nancy. Now, tell me. Have you ever been in love ? 
Eennick. Occasionally ; yes. 
Nancy. You began early ? 
Eennick. Not particularly. 
Nancy. Are you engaged ? 
Eennick. Not at present. Are you ? 
Nancy. I think so. 
Eennick. You are not quite certain. 
Nancy. Well — he hasn't actually proposed. 
Eennick. Who is he ? 

Nancy. Theodore ; Monsieur Theodore de Brizac, the 
French master. 

Eennick. That man I saw in the garden ? That black 
fellow with the cropped head ? 

Nancy. 1 know he is in love because he is so fearfully 
jealous. 
Eennick. Is he ? 

Nancy. He wouldn't like to see you with your arm 
around my waist. 

Eennick. But, I haven't. 

Nancy. I mean, if you had he would kill you. 
_ Eennick. {rising) One moment. I think I'll take a 
Jittle turn in the garden. 

Nancy, {pulling him down beside her) No, no ; I want 
you. 

Eennick. These Frenchmen are so fond of fighting 
duels, and one of these days I'm sure there will be an 
accident. 

Nancy. It's all right ; he's in the class-room now. Look 
here, Freddy dear, I'm in a fix. 
Eennick. With the Frenchman ? 
Nancy. No, with Bullock Major. 
Eennick. Who's Bullock Major ? 

Nancy. The head boy. We were engaged for three 
weeks last term, and he won't give me back my letters. 
Now, I want you to get them for me. 

Eennick. Perhaps he won't listen to me. 

Nancy. You must make him. 

Eennick. How ? 

Nancy. You must offer to fight him. 

Eennick. Must I ? 

Nancy. He wont refuse you. 

Eennick. I was afraid he might. 

Nancy. He has fought every boy in the school. 

Eennick. What an interesting youth ! 



THE NEW BOY. 21 

Nancy. Freddy, dear, you will challenge him at once, 
won't you ? 

Rennick. Well — you see — I haven't been introduced to 
him yet. 

Nancy. He won't mind that. 

Rennick. Will he not ? 

Nancy. And when you have beaten him he will give up 
the letters. 

Rennick. But, supposing he beats me ? 

Nancy. Then it can't be helped, that's all. 

Rennick. Oh, that's all ! My having two black eyes 
and a crooked 'nose would be of no consequence, I sup- 
pose ? 

Nancy. Not if-^if you loved me. {taking his hand in 
both of hers and stroking it) 

Rennick. (aside) I wish Martha would come. 

Nancy. But I don't believe you do love me. 

Rennick. Well — you see — there's the Frenchman. 

Nancy. But he hasn't proposed yet ; so, if you like, we 
might be engaged till he does, {leans her head against his 
shoulder) 

Rennick. {aside) I'm sure this girl is more than six- 
teen. 

Nancy. Isn't that a good idea ? 

Rennick. Very — yes. {aside) What is Martha doing ? 

Nancy. No one must guess our secret. 

Rennick. No ; we'll keep it dark. 

Nancy. ITou won't tell your mother ? 

Rennick. No, I won't tell my mother. 

Nancy. She might object ? 

Rennick. Yes, I fancy she mightn't like it. She's odd, 
you know, very odd. So jealous. 

Nancy. Jealous ! 

Rennick. You see, I'm an only husband — I mean, an 
only child, and I require a good deal of care. 

Nancy. I think you can take care of yourself, Freddy, 
dear. When people are engaged, it is usual for the gentle- 
man to embrace the lady. 

Rennick. Ah, that's only in books. 

Nancy. Aren't you going to take a leaf out of one of 
them ? 

Rennick. I— I shouldn't like to be forward. 

Nancy. You're not. You're very backward, {leaning 
towards him) You may, if you like. 

Rennick. {very nervously) Oh, thank you. I'm ex- 
tremely obliged. I 

{Enter De Brizac d. l. c. unobserved.) 

Very good of you, I'm sure, {gives her a short, quick 
kiss on her cheek) 



22 THE NEW BOY. 

De B. So ! (Rennick and Nancy start and look round) 
So ! I see you before my eyes ! (Nancy rises quickly) 

Rennick. (juinps up — aside) The Frenchman, by 
Jingo ! {goes R. quickly, taking up his hat from otto- 
man, R. C.) 

De B. (to Rennick) You embrace her, you caress her ; 
you, you 

Rennick. (nervously) I couldn't help it. 

De B. Couldn't help it ! 

Rennick. She began it. 

Nancy. Oh. Freddy ! 

De B. (to Rennick) You are a beast, a pig, which you 
like! 

Rennick. Thank you, I've no choice. 

Nancy, (to de Brizac) You don't quite understand. 
This is my cousin, young Bolder, the new boy. 

Rennick. Yes, I'm quite new. 

De B. Ah, I see ! I was mistaken, (holds out his hand 
to Rennick) Young Bolder ; I make it up. 

Rennick. (shaking hands) Very pleased, I'm sure. 

De B. I am Monsieur Theodore de Brizac. 

Rennick. So I should imagine. 

De B. Eh ? 

Rennick. I mean, you look like it. 

De B. Ah ! (going to Nancy) Miss Nancy, my humble 
apologies. 

Rennick. (aside) I'm glad he calmed down. It would 
have been a pity to spoil him. (goes r. The School-bell 
rings) 

De B. (aside to Nancy) I was so jealous. You will 
forgive me ? 

Nancy. (holding down her head) Well — for this 
once. 

De B. (seizing her hand) My life ! My angel ! (kisses 
her hand. Murmur of hoys' voices heard off r. Rennick, 
who is standing looking out of windows, retreats into 
room) 

Rennick. (looking off r.) Those noisy young cubs are 
out of school again ! 

De B. Ah, the boys ! They go to play football, (to 
Rennick) You play football ? 

Rennick. Not as a rule, no. 

De B. You like football ? 

Rennick. I'm not passionately fond of it. 

De B. We play the Rugby game. It is magnifique ! 

Rennick. Is it ? 

De B. We hug, we hack, we scrimmage ! 

Rennick. Do you ? 

Boys, (calling, outside) Now then, Monsieur ; we're 
waiting. Are you ready, sir ? 



THE NEW BOY. 23 

De B. (calling, crossing r.) Yes, yes. (to Rennick) 
Come, young Bolder. 

Rennick. I don't think I'll begin to-day. 

De B. Nonsense ! {calling to the Boys) Here is a new 

Boys, (outside) A new boy ! Hooray ! 
De B. (catching Rennick hy the arm) Come? 
Rennick. (drawing back) No, no ; excuse me. ^ 

Boys. (outside) Bring him out, sir, bring him 

out ! 

De B. You hear them ? 

Rennick. I do ; distinctlyo 

De B. They want you. 

Rennick. They're too kind. 

Boys, (outside) Now then, sir. Fetch him along ! 

De B. (dragging Rennick) It is the rule. You must 

play ! 

Rennick. I can't — I won't ! 

De B. Come, sir, come I 

Rennick. I don't hug ; I never hack ; I can t scrim- 
mage I Where's Martha? Why the dickens doesn't she 
come ? (De Brizac gives a sudden pull) Oh, my good 
heavens ! (exeunt De Brizac and Rennick r. A loud 
yell is heard from the Boys) 

Nancy, (looking off R.) Poor Freddy! I hope they 
won't bo too rough with him. He looks delicate ; and 
Bullock Major is not always very considerate. I think I'll 
go and watch the game/ Dear Theodore. How delight- 
fully jealous he was ! (exit hy windows R.) 

(Enter Mrs. Rennick, Dr. Candy, and Roach d. l. c.) 

Mrs. R. (coming dozen c.) But really I am quite dis- 
tressed you should have been so mistaken. 

Candy, (coming down L.) It was all Felix. 

Roach, (coming down r.) A misunderstanding— a pure 
misunderstanding on my part. 

Mrs. R. (to Candy) I am only too pleased, too grateful, 
to accept your generous offer. 

Roach. I am so relieved. No one would have been more 
pained than I, had there been a little rift between you, 
dear Martha, and you, dear Horace. 

Candy. But you told me in the plainest words 

that , Ti/r • 

Roach. I don't remember— I don't remember. My joy 
at seeing you— re-united, has put everything else out of 

my head. ^ . , , , . 

Candy. Humph ! ( to Martha) I wish you had not 
troubled yourself. I said I would send my man for your 
Juggage. 



24: THE NEW BOY. 

Mrs. R. I know ; but I always like to see to things 
myself. 

Roach. So methodical — so methodical, {murmur of 
Boys' voices heard. Roach goes to windoivs r. ) 

Mrs. R. Where is Arch — Freddy, I wonder ? 

Candy. With the boys, I fancy. They are gone to the 
playing field, {murmur of voices heard off R.) 

Mrs. R. {anxiously) What are they playing at ? 

Candy. Football. 

Mrs. R. Football ? 

Candy. Yes. 

Mrs. R. But — Freddy doesn't play football. 

Candy. Oh, he will soon learn. 

Mrs. R. But — isn't it rather a — dangerous game ? 

Candy. A little rough, perhaps, but it does them good. 

Mrs. R. a little rough ! {aside) And Archibald with 
his reckless courage is sure to be in the thick of the danger. 
{the sound of voices has been coming nearer through the 
above dialogue) 

Roach. What spirits they have ! Such nice boys ! 

Mrs. R. You don't think 

Candy. Think what ? (Boys' voices are heard louder) 

Mrs. R. Hark ! 

Boys, {outside) Coward — sneak — trip him up — hack 
him over ! 

{Enter Nancy, quickly, by windows R.) 

Mrs. R. What is it ? 

Nancy. I think they are chasing Freddy. 

Mrs. R. Chasing Freddy ! Horace ! {goes quickly to 
Candy) 

Rennice. {outside) Keep back, I won't play, '^you're 
hurting me — oh, you beasts ! 

Mrs. R. Freddy ! Freddy ! 

(Rennick riins in r,, followed by a yell from outside. He 
has his coat off and his trousers rolled up to his knees. 
His hat is crushed and muddy, and his white waistcoat 
muddy. ) 

Candy. What is the matter ? 

Rennick. Stop them, stop them ; 'don't let them in ! 
{sinks panting for breath on ottoman r. c. De Brizac 
appears at windows R. holding up his hands as if keeping 
the boys back) 

Mrs. R. {going quickly to Rennick) Oh, my darling, 
are you hurt ? ( kneels beside him) 

Rennick. Yes. 

Mrs. R. Where ? 

Rennick. Every v/here I 



THE NEW BOY. 25 

Mrs. R. Were you struck with the ball ? 

Rennick. I never saw the ball. I think I must have 
been the ball ! 

Candy. You're not half a boy. < 

Rennick. I feel several. 

Candy. It's a fine healthy game, and you'll have to 
play it. 

Rennick. {starting to his feet, wildly) I won't ! I don't 
mind marbles, and I can put up with leap-frog — but if I 
play football, I'm damned ! ! ! {general consternation at 
hearing Rennick use such language) 

ACT DROP— QUICK. 



ACT II. 



Scene. — The same as in Act I. — Doctor Candy and 
Mrs. Rennick discovered. Candy is standing at bureau 
up R., busy with papers. Mrs. R. is seated at writing 
table L. addressing a letter. 

Candy. My dear Martha, I am shocked — positively 
shocked at hearing the boy make use of such language ! 

Mrs. R. I think you must have been mistaken. 

Candy. There was no mistaking that word. 

Mrs. R. I believe it was, " hang." 

Candy. "Hang" does not begin with a D. He dis- 
tinctly said, *' I'll be d — e— e— d if I play football." 

Mrs. R. I will speak to him. 

Candy, {coming doivn r. c.) I will speak to him, and 
if he ever repeats the offense I shall have to cane him ! 

Mrs. R. {rising) Cane him ! 

Candy. I hope there may be no necessity for it ; but, if 
there is, I must make an example of him for the sake of 
the school. 

Mrs. R. But, mj'- dear Horace — 

Candy. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I'll be bound 
to say that you have never chastised him ? 

Mrs. R. No— n— no. 

Candy. I thought not. A little timely correction at 
your hands would have done him a world of good. For 
the matter of that, it is not too late to begin. 

Mrs. R. Don't you think he is — a little old ? 

Candy. That is precisely the mistake you have made. 
You treat the boy as though he were a little man. Look 
at the way you dress him ! 

Mrs. R. He dresses himself. 

Candy. But he shouldn't. From his clothes you might 
take the lad to be twenty. However, it appears he has 



26 THE NEW BOY. 

some other suits in his trunk, and I have told him to put 
one on. 

Mrs. R. (aside) Will he ever get into it ? 

Candy. All the boys would be laughing at him ; and 
besides that, I am very particular about appearances. 
(turns up R. a few paces) 

(Enter Rennick d. l. c. He is dressed in a boy's sailor 
suit unth knickerbockers. ) 

Rennick. I say, look here, I can hardly walk, I'm so 
tight. 

Candy. Tight ! 

Rennick. (coming down c.) Yes, I shall have to be let 
out somewhere. 

Mrs. R. Come here, darling. 

Rennick. (going to her) You can't get your jfinger in 
between me and the waistband, (pulling at the ivaist- 
band of his knickerbockers) It will be quite impossible ta 
wear them at meals. 

Candy. Who made them for you ? 

Rennick. They weren't made for me at all. 

Mrs. R. (standing behind Rennick and feeling hi& 
waistband) He means they were ready made. 

Rennick. And deucedly badly, too. 

Candy. What? (comes down, r.) 

Mrs. R. (aside to Rennick) Hush, dear, hush ! (pull^ 
his waistband.) 

Rennick. Mind — mind ! You're squeezing me like the- 
very devil ! 

Candy. Oh , this is monstrous I 

Rennick. Yes, I know it is. 

Candy. Something must be done at once I 

Rennick. You'd say so if you felt like this. 

Candy. Come here, sir. 

Mrs. R. (nervously) My dear Horace 

Candy. Martha, leave this to me. 

Rennick. (going to Candy) I don't fancy you can do 
anything. 

Candy, (sarcastically) I think I can. 

Rennick. (feeling his waistband at the back) Perhaps 
you might cut me up the back. 

Candy, (blandly) Perhaj)s I might cut you across the 
back. 

Rennick. What good will that do ? 

Candy. A great deal. 

Rennick. It's the wrong way. 

Candy. You'll find it's the right one. 

Rennick. Well, don't argue, (turns his back to Candy> 
Let's see what you can do. 

Candy, (grasping Rennick by the arm) Now, sir. 



THE NEW BOY. 2T 

Mrs. R. (alarmed) Horace ! 

Candy. Three times, sir, in my presence, you have 
made use of words beginning with a D ! 

Rennick. a what ? 

Candy. Three Ds, sir, three Ds ! 

Rennick. Do you mean threepence ? 

Candy. This is trifling ! 

Rennick. Well, it isn't much. 

Mrs. R. (warningly) Freddy, dear ! 

Rennick. ' {going to Mrs. R. Aside) I'm stooping,, 
Martha, I'm stooping. 

Candy. Listen, sir. Your language is a disgrace ta 
yourself and the school, and I give you fair warning that 
if I hear the slightest repetition of it I shall have to resort 
to corporal punishment. 

Rennick. Oh, my lor'! 

Candy. There ! Again ! 

Rennick. No, no ; I said lor'. L, O, R. There was na 
D. I cut the D ! 

Candy. Well, don't let me have to speak to you again. 
Boys of the present day are no sooner in their teens than 
they imagine themselves to be men. When I was your 
age I looked up to those above me ; but you, sir, appear to 
think that we are on the same level. Be careful for your 
own sake, and let there be an end of this, {goes up to 
bureau at hack) 

Rennick. {aside. Going to l,.) I wish there was. It's 
getting decidedly unpleasant. 

Mrs. R. {to Rennick) You will be careful, dear, I know 
you will, {goes to seat doivn R., takes needle-ivork froTn 
table and sits) 

Rennick. {going a little towards Candy) I can assure 
you. Dr. Candy, I have no wish to quarrel with you. 

Candy, {astounded) Quarrel, sir, quarrel I 

Rennick. There, there, there ; pray control yourself^ 
When you get excited it makes things so unpleasant. 

Candy, (frigidly) Before I have done with you, you 
will find I shall make things still more unpleasant. 

(Enter De Brizac, d. l. c.) 

De B. Pardon, Doctor Candy. Do you take the Latin 
class this afternoon ? 

Candy. Yes, I'm just coming, (going towards door, l. 
C.) Oh, by the by, we haven't settled where this boy is to 
sleep. I'm afraid all the dormitories are full ? 

De B. No. You remember Smith Minimus, went home 
last week with his knee cap ? 

Rennick. (anxiously) With his knee cap ? 

Candy. They were tossing him up in a blanket. 

De B. And catching him. 



28 THE NEW BOY. 

Eennick. And they missed him ? 

Candy. So it appears, (to De Brizac) Then Smith's 
Ibed is vacant. Let me see — that is in — 

De B. Bullock Major's room. 

Rennick. (aside) Bullock Major ! That's the pugilist ! 

Mrs. R. (rising) But — he has not been accustomed to 
sleep with other boys. He is very nervous. 

Candy. What, a big boy like that ? ! 

Rennick. Oh, I'm not as big as I look. 

Candy. Now, now, now ; I won't hear of it. He must 
conform to the rules of the school, Martha. The other 
boys would naturally resent any favoritism, and — their 
resentment might take a practical form in the playground. 
Come, De Brizac. (exit De Brizac, d. l. c.) 

Rennick. I say. Candy, Candy. (Dr. Candy at door 
turns in amazement at Rennick calling Mm Candy) I 
don't vv^ant to upset the dormitories. Give me a chair 
bedstead in the passage or bath-room ; I'm not particular. 

Candy. Don't argue with me, sir ; and remember what 
I said about corporal punishment, (exit Candy, d. l. c. ) 

Rennick. Martha, this cannot go on ! I will not sleep 
with Bullock Major ! 

Mrs. R. Dearest, he may be a nice boy. 

Rennick. From information I've received, he's a very 
nasty boy. 

Mrs. R. But, my darling — 

Rennick. How would you like to be tossed in a blanket ? 

Mrs. R. I know it's a come down. 

Rennick. But you've got to go up first. I went through 
the experience at my first school. One, two, three, and 
you find yourself close to the ceiling ! 

Mrs. R. Only for a second. 

Rennick. But during that second your interest is 
centered on the agreeable uncertainty as to whether your 
ultimate destination will be the blanket or the boards. 
You live years in that second ! 

Mrs. R. (crosses l.) We must hope for the best. 

Rennick. In a matter of this sort, hope frequently tells 
a flattering tale. 

Mrs. R. My love ! 

Rennick, I'm not going to be sent home with a knee- 
cap ! 

Mrs. R. My dearest, it shall not come to that. We may 
be able to get away sooner than we think. Don't lose 
heart yet. Remember, our whole future depends upon 
Horace being kept in ignorance of our marriage. We will 
devise some pretext for leaving shortly, (sits on couch L. 
with her needle-ivork) 

Rennick. {pulling at his waistband) If we don't leave 
shortly I shall go off like a cracker. 



THE NEW BOY. 29 

Mrs. R. Perhaps Felix could help us. He seems very 
sympathetic. 

Rennick. Who ? Roach ? Directly I heard his name I 
twigged him. 

Mrs. R. Twigged him? 

Rennick. I would attend his execution with pleasure. 
Sympathetic Felix Roach was one of the directors of the 
Dry Champagne Company ! 

Mrs. R. Nonsense ! 

Rennick. I thought I'd seen him before somewhere ; 
and at last I remembered. I saw him among the directors 
at a general meeting of the company two months ago. 

Mrs. R. (anxiously) He didn't see you f 

Rennick. Oh, dear, no. An ordinary shareholder is 
quite beneatli the notice of a director. 

Mrs. R. Thank goodness. 

Rennick. I liave no hesitation in saying that a con- 
siderable portion of our little all found its way into the 
pockets of sympathetic Roach. 

Mrs. R. And he seems such a pleasant man ! 

Rennick. It's a way directors have. 

Mrs. R. Perhaps he was not to blame. 

Rennick. No director in particular is ever to blame. 
It's invariably all the others, {goes up c.) 

Mrs. R. If he knew our circumstances he might refund 
the money. 

Rennick. I am disposed to think that the word " re- 
fund " is an entire stranger to sympathetic Roach. 

Mrs. R. Still, I can't help thinking if he only knew 
— {seeing Roach, who appears at window r.) Ahem ! 

{Enter Roach r.) 

Roach, {going to her) Ah, dear Martha ; you have 
forgiven me for my absurd mistake ? So charmed to see 
you and Horace such good friends, 

Mrs. R. Horace is most kind. (Rennick comes down r.) 

Roach. And he is so taken with your boy. But there — 
who would not be ? 

Rennick. (aside) He's got his limited company manners 
on. 

Roach, (feeling in his pocket) Now, I wonder what I've 
got in my pocket ? 

Rennick. (aside) I know the correct answer to that. 

Roach, (taking a peg top from his pocket) A peg top. 
(going to Rennick) I declare it's a peg top ! 

Rennick. Oh, do you play tops ? 

Roach, (giving top to Rennick) I'm afraid I've forgotten 
the way, but you shall teach me — ha, ha — you shall teach 
me. 



so THE NEW BOY. 

Eenniok. I don't fancy I could teach you much. 

Roach. He, ha ! By Jove, I've forgotten the string — 
had Cousin Felix has forgotten the string. No matter 
{taking a halfpenny from his pocket) A ha'penny — {put- 
ting halfpenny in Rennick's hand) a ha'penny will supply 
the deficiency. 

Rennick. {aside, looking at halfpenny) Interim divi- 
dend on fifteen thousand pounds ! 

Roach, {to Mrs. R.) And so Horace has secured your 
services as Matron. He is indeed fortunate. The remun- 
eration is — satisfactory, I hope? 

Mrs. R. He gives us a home. 

Roach. But — nothing more? 

Rennick. Not at present. 

Roach. Eh ? 

Rennick. {aside) Now, I'll astonish sympathetic Roach. 
{Aloud) Pray don't be anxious on our account. It's all 
Tight. 

Roach, {suspiciously) What does that — dear boy mean ? 

Rennick. {going to Roach) Oh yes. Martha — Mother 
— Mother is going to have everytliing. 

Mrs. R. My love ; Cousin Horace might not like you to 
mention — 

Rennick. Oh, we can trust Cousin Felix ; he's so nice 
and kind. 

Roach, {patting Rennick's shoulder) Dear boy— dear 
boy. 

Rennick. You'll be glad to hear that Doctor Candy has 
made Mother his sole heiress. 

Roach, {forgetting himself) What ? ! 

Rennick. I thought you'd be pleased. 

Roach, {to Mrs. R.) But — is this — is this true? 

Mrs. R. Horace told me so. 

Roach. He did? 

Mrs. R. Yes. 

Rennick. That's one for sympathetic Roach ! 

Roach, {aside) What a swindle ! What an infernal 
swindle ! ! {aloud) My dear Martha, I congratulate you 
most heartilj^ I can't say how delighted I am ; I really 
can't, {shakes hands with her) 

Rennick. {aside) His joy is too deep for words. 

Mrs. R. I am sure you are very good. 

Roach. No, no. The world would be a poor place if we 
could not rejoice in the good fortune of our nearest — and 
dearest. 

Rennick. {aside) This is very touching. 

Roach, {putting his arm round Rennick's neck) You 
and I, dear Martha, were always the best of friends. 

Rennick. {aside) It's the first I've heard of it. 

Roach. Indeed, in the old days — the dear old days— 



THE NEW BOY. 31 

I had hoped that we might have been — something 
more. 

Mrs. R. Oh, Fehx. 

Roach. But I was diffident ; I concealed my feeh'ngs, 
let the golden opportunity slip, and we drifted apart on 
opposite currents. 

Rennick. (aside) Now he's becoming nautical. 

Roach, (to Mrs. R.) Yes, yes, yes: I have never for- 
^'otten those days — (sits on chair R. of couch) those happy 
days when I lost you. 

Rennick. (aside) He's getting a little mixed. 

Roach, (faking Rennick's arm a7id drawing him to- 
wards him) And wdien I saw tliis dear boy, with his 
mother's eyes and his mother's smile — (Rennick smothers 
u laugh) — I said to myself, ah, the old Martha ! 

Rennick. Good old Martha ! 

Mrs. R. (warningly) Freddy, dear ! 

Roach. If I had only been bolder, if things had been 
•different (putting his hand under Rennick's chin) this 
treasure might have been mine. 

Rennick. Well, I'm open to an offer now. 

Mrs. R. My dearest ! 

Roach. Don't check him. Don't nip the bud in the 
springtime of its youth. One. two, three, awd up we go ! 
(takes Rennick on his knee) There. Now, we're comfort- 
able, aren't we ? 

Rennick. Oh, very. 

Roach. Yes, Martha, I cannot forget the past. You 
Tevive the old memories — the old hopes, (he moves his 
■knee up and doivn) 

Rennick. Don't joggle ! 

Roach. When I remember what might have been, I 
■cannot refrain from thinking of what may be. (moves his 
knee) 

Rennick. Don't joggle ! 

Mrs. R. But, my dear Felix, I 

Roach. I know, I know — With our young friend here I 
ca,nnot express myself as plainly as I could wish, but I 
would only say (moves his knee) 

Rennick. Don't joggle ! don't joggle ! 

Roach. You have a son, I have a d.aughter. We should 
lae a nice little party of four devoted to one another and as 
Jiappy as the day is long. 

Mrs. R. Oh, but really, Felix— 

Rennick. Don't check him. 

Roach. Dear boy, what a playmate he will make for 
l^Tancy. (enter Candy, d. l. c. ) Martha, my little girl needs 
a. mother's care ; and I — I have been so true, so constant 
to my early love. If you will only give me one word of 
iiope, you will make me the happiest— 



32 THE NEW BOY. 

Candy. Humph ! Ahem ! (Roach starts up and lets 
'RmmicK slip ivho falls forward on his face. 'Roacb. goes 
down. R.) 

Eennick. You stupid ass ; why didn't you say you were 
going to buck jump ? ! {rises and rubs his knee) 

Roach. Ah, Horace ; you find us in the middle of a 
game of romps ; " ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross " — 
you know, you know. Boys will be boys. Ha, ha ! 

Candy. You should be careful at your age. 

Roach. My age? And what may that be? (taking 
Rennick hy both hands) Come, my little man, how old is 
Cousin Felix ? 

Rennick. I should think about sixty. (Candy laughs) 

Mrs. R. Freddy ! 

Roach. Oh, come, come now ! 

Rennick. I shouldn't take you for more. 

Roach. More — more ? 

Rennick. Well, you don't look it. (Candy laughs) 

Roach, (slapping Rennick on the back) Dear boy,. 
dear boy. (aside) Impudent young cub. (Rennick sits 
on ottoman, r. c, and stoops down to tie his shoe lace) 

Candy. I came, Martha, to ask you to look over the 
school with me. 

Mrs. R. (rising) Certainly, Horace. 

Candy. I want to show you the house, the boys' rooms, 
and instruct you in all the domestic arrangements (goes 
up stage) 

Mrs. R. (going up stage) I shall be glad to see every- 
thing. 

Candy. Freddy. 

Rennick. Hullo ! 

Candy, (correcting him) Sir I 

Rennick. Yes ? 

Candy, (louder) Sir ! 

Rennick. What? 

Candy, (louder) Sir ! 

Rennick. Well, what is it ? 

Candy, (severely) When you address me you will be 
good enough to say " sir." 

Rennick. Oh, all right. 

Candy, (stamping his foot) Sir! ! 

Rennick. (shouting) Sir ! 

Candy. Teg, is at five o'clock in the big school-room* 
Come, Martha, (exit Mrs. Rennick d. l. c. ) Five o'clock, 
remember. Don't be late, (exit Candy d. l. c.) 

Rennick. (rising) Sir ! I say, what time do they 
dine? 

Roach. The school dinner was over before you arrived. 
They liave supper about eight. 

Rennick. Supper ? 



THE NEW BOY. 33 

HOACH. Bread and cheese and a glass of beer. 

Rennick. I hate bread and cheese and I can't drink 
"beer ! 

Roach. Then they'll give you milk and water. 

Rennick. That's a lively tipple ! 

Roach, (aside) I must make a friend of this boy to 
keep ill with Martha, (aloud) I daresay you're hungry? 

Rennick. I'm positively starving. 

Roach. And thirsty ? 

Rennick. As a dustman. 

Roach, (going r.) Come to the tuckshop and have 
some ginger pop. 

Rennick. Ginger pop ! I'm dying for a whiskey and 
soda. 

Roach. Bless the boy ! Whiskey and soda ? 

Rennick. Do you never drink it ? 

Roach. Yes, but I 

Rennick. (with great intention) Perhaps you prefer 
dry champagne ? 

Roach, (suspiciously) What do you know about dry 
champagne ? 

Rennick. Why, we lost all our money in it. 

Roach, (off his guard) In the Dry Champagne Com- 
pany ? 

Rennick. Oh, you know it? 

Roach. I — I've heard of it. 

Rennick. You'll hear more of it presently. 

Roach. What do you mean, boy ? 

Rennick. They're going to prosecute the directors. 

Roach. What stuff and rubbish ! 

Rennick. The directors ? Yes, they are. It will be a 
good job when they're all carted off to Holloway, won't it? 

Roach, (forcing a laugh) Ha, ha ! Rather hot for 
them, eh? 

Rennick. Oh, they'll find it nice and cool there. 

Roach, (taking Rennick hy the arm) Ha, ha ! Come 
and have a drink, come and have a drink ! (exeunt by 
windoiDS R. , laughing) 

(Enter De Brizac, d. l. c.) 

De B. Not here ! Now where has that boy gone ? Per- 
haps he is out with Miss Nancy — confound him. He is her 
cousin, and a very affectionate cousin from what I have 
seen. Bah ! He is only a boy ! I make a fool of myself. 
(takes up Nancy's photograph from mantel-shelf) Ah, but 
she is divine ! What a nose, what an eye, what a lip ! 
There is many a slip 'twixt the kiss and the lip. (kisses 
photograph. Enter "Nancy with a packet in her hand, r, 
unobserved. To pliotograph) You forgive me : you do not 

3 



Si, THE NEW BOY. 

mind? No, you still smile. My angel — I kiss your smile. 
(kisses photograph. Sees Nancy and puts photograph back 
on mantel-shelf) I beg your pardon, Mademoisellb ; 1 oouid 
not resist the temptation. 

Nancy. You should put it away from you. 

De B. I cannot. 

Nancy. You don't try. 

De B. How can I ti y ? 

Nancy. You might carry a photograph a^bouis in your 
pocket and see hovr seldom you could take it om and look 
at it. 

De B. But I have not a photograph. 

Nancy, {going to ottoman, r. c.) If 1 thought you 
■would really try and resist temptation — I would give you 
one, 

De B. Oh, Miss Nancy ! 

Nancy, (sits on ottoman, opening packet) They have 
just sent these home. I was briugingthem to show Doctor 
Candy. You shall see what you think of them. 

De B. (going to her) You are so good ! 

Nancy. I want you to be so too. I've been taken in 
three different positions. (giving him a photograph) 
That's one of them. 

De B. Ah, charming — absolutely charming ! 

Nancy, (giving him another) Here's another. 

De B. Exquisite ! 

Nancy. I think it's rather good, (giving him another) 
That is the last. 

De B. Oh, what can I say ? (sits beside her) How can 
I choose ? 

Nancy, (looking over the photographs in his hands) 
Which do you think you would find most difficult to re- 
sist ? 

De B. Well — now — let me see. I think — yes, I think 
this one would give me the most trouble. 

Nancy. You see more temptation in that one ? 

De B. Oh, it is distracting ! ! 

Nancy. Then, keep it. (takes the other two photo- 
graphs from him) Put it away in your pocket, and prac- 
tise self-denial. 

De B. How can I repay your kindness ? 

Nancy. It will be sufficient for me to feel that I am 
helping you to be a better man. 

De B. I shall soon learn from such a charming teacher. 

Nancy. You think the plan a good one ? 

De B. (seizing both her hands) It is simply superb ! 

Nancy. I'm so glad you like my system, (hekissesher 
hands) 

Rennick. (offu.) Ha, ha! It's good, isn't it? (they 
jump up. She runs to luriting table and pretends to smell 



THE NEW BOY. 35 

flowers in vase. He goes to sideboard and pretends to smell 
flowers in vase) 

Roach. (oJ^r.) Where did you hear such stories; a 
boy like you? Ha, ha, ha ! 

{Enter Roach and Rennick both laughing.) 

Rennick. Isn't it a splitter ? 

Roach. I'm ashamed of jou. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Rennick. Then she got under the table and — ha, ha, ha ! 
(Rennick and Roach laugh immoderately till the latter sees 
Nancy and De Brizac, and stops suddenly) 

Roach. Ah, Nancy. 

Nancy, What's the joke ? 

Roach. Nothing — nothing. (Nancy sits on chair by 
writing table L.) 

Rennick. It requires a little careful adaptation, (nudg- 
ing Roach in the side) Eh? What? {the school bell 
rings) 

Roach. Don't do that I 

De B. There is the bell for tea. {goes to D. L. c.) 
Come, young Bolder. 

Rennick. Thank you, I've had a whiskey and — 

Roach {aside to Rennick) Sssh — sssh. Run away, boy, 
run away. 

De B. Now, Bolder. 

Rennick. {going up stage) Look here. I can't pos- 
sibly take tea like this, (feeling his ivaistband) 

De B. Come, come ; do not be shy. J will take you in. 

Rennick. I don't want to be taken in, I want to be let 
out. 

De B. You must ask Doctor Candy. 

Rennick. I told him. He knows I'm too tight. 

De B. Come, sir, come ! (exit d. l. c.) 

Rennick. I'm coming, (to Roach) I say, old man 

Roach. Well ? 

Rennick. Then she got under the table ! (exit laugh- 
ing, D. L. c.) 

Nancy. You and Freddy seem to be great friends. 

Roach. Great friends ! You'd say so if you knew ! 

Nancy. What ? 

Roach. Candy has left everything to Martha — every- 
thing ! 

Nancy. Who says so ? 

Roach. She does. He told her so. That man will come 
to a bad end ! 

Nancy. I suppose he can do as he likes. 

Roach. People shouldn't do as they like, they should do 
as they ought. It's scandalous ! 

Nancy. It's his own money. 

Roach. And I'm his own cousin I 



35 THE NEW BOY. 

Nancy. So is Cousin Martha. 

Roach. What has she done for him ? 

Nancy. What have you done ? 

Roach. Haven't I flattered him for years? 

Nancy. Yes — I — I know. 

Roach. And he cahnly robs me. This is the man who 
goes to church twice on Sundays ! 

Nancy. Do you object to that? 

Roach. I hate a hypocrite. 

Nancy. But you always go with him. 

Roach. Because I thought he liked it. You don't sup- 
pose I go for my oivn pleasure ! And now Martha gets 
everything ! Martha — hah ! {sits on ottoman, R. c.) 

Nancy. She seems a nice motherly person. 

Roach. She'll have to be your mother —one way or the 
other. 

Nancy. What do you mean ? 

Roach. It's the only way out of it. Either I shall have- 
to marry her or you will have to marry Freddy. 

Nancy, (rising) I marry Freddy ! 

Roach. I should prefer it. 

Nancy. Why, he is only a boy ! 

Roach. He won't be that long. He told me some stories 
that — He is very well informed. 

Nancy. But he is not fifteen ! 

Roach. I don't say you can marry him to-morrow, but 
you can wait — you can wait. 

Nancy. I don't think I want to wait for Freddy. 

Roach. You don't want to do anything that's right. I 
never get any help from you. 

Nancy. It's so absurd. 

Roach, (rising) Then you compel me to take Martha. 
It is always J who have to be sacrificed ! All my life I have 
lived on other people — I mean, for other people ; and now, 
when I want to end my days in peace, I have to marry 
again for your sake ! (goes r.) 

Nancy, (following him) But I wish you wouldn't think 
of me. 

Roach. You don't understand a father's feelings — whea 
he is short of money. 

Nancy. We have everything we want. 

Roach. Everything we want ! and I've been drinking 
only heer for the last fortnight I 

Nancy. But, really, father— 

Roach. Oh, I know. My unselfishness is not appreciated. 
I am always misunderstood — always misunderstood, (exit 
by windows, R. ) 

Nancy. It's horrible! I don't know what to do. Of 
course I couldn't marry Freddy for four or five years, so I 
might be engaged to Theodore till then. But then J told 



THE NEW BOY. 37 

Freddy I would be engaged to him till Theodore proposed ! 
It's most perplexing ! 1 really don't see how I can possibly 
-meet all my engagements ! {exit by ivindoivs R.) 

(Enter Rennick, d. l. c. He has Ms cap on.) 

Rennick. {sits on chair up c.) I wonder wliere they 
grow that remarkable shrub which enters so largely into 
the manufacture of schoolroom tea ? The unique flavour 
of that singular decoction has carried me back twenty 
years. Now I think of it, perhaps it was coffee? I'm not 
«ure — it might have been either. It's probably coffee in 
the morning and tea in the evening. The bread and but- 
ter too. Those dry and weighty blocks awoke old mem- 
ories, {rises) The bread had seen better days and the 
l)utter was not in the bloom of its first youth. Well {goes 
U.) there's compensation in everything, for if the tea was 
weak the butter was strong. Oh, that butter! I must 
say I should like a little something to act as a corrective. 
I haven't had much experience of poisons, but I should 
fancy Scotch whiskey might be a valuable antidote if I 
could only obtain it. {looks round room) There's the 
difficulty. I can't ask Candy for it ; and 

{Enter Susan, d. l. c.) 

Susan. Oh — I thought Dr. Candy was here, {going) 

Rennick. Here, one moment. 

Susan. What's the matter ? 

Rennick. I want you a minute. 

Susan, {coming down stage) Want me ? 

Rennick. Would -it be possible? Have you access to 
the sideboard? 

Susan. The sideboard ? 

Rennick. I mean — does your master leave the spirits 
out? 

Susan. Not since Fve been here. Why ? 

Rennick. Well, I didn't know. Are you busy just now ? 

Susan. Not particularly. 

Rennick. Could you run out for me ? 

Susan. Where to? 

Rennick. The town. 

Susan. What for ? 

Rennick. { feeling in his pocket) Look here. I want 
you to get me a bottle of Scotch whiskey. 

Susan. Scotch whiskey? 

Rennick. Here's the money. 

Susan. Well, sometimes I does get sweets and things 
for the t'others, but — whiskey ? ! 

Rennick. It's all right. 



38 THE NEW BOY. 

Susan, {shaking Mm) You wicked little monkey, you t 

Rennick. {giving her money) Get the best they've got* 

Susan. But if master hears of this 

Rennick. He won't. 

Susan. But what would your Ma say ? 

Rennick. Eh — oh — why — that's it. It's for her. Of 
course, it's for Mrs. Rennick. 

Susan. Mrs. Rennick ? 

Rennick. I mean, Bolder — Mrs. Bolder. I never can 
remember names. Slie wanted me to go for it but I can't, 
so I said I'd ask you. 

Susan. Oh — I see. Does your Ma take much whiskey ? 

Rennick. She takes nothing else since she's been a 
widow. 

Susan. Don't she ? 

Rennick. No. Mr. Bolder always drank Scotch, and 
she finds it keeps his memory green. 

Susan. Do she want it directly ? 

Rennick. Yes. Run and fetch it, there's a good girl. 

Susan, {going up stage) I'll put my hat on and go at 
once. 

Rennick. That's right. I'll be on the look out for you 
when you come back. 

Susan. I say — when you first asked me I thought you 
wanted it yourself. Ha, ha, ha ! 

Rennick. ( pretendi7ig to laugh) No — did you ? Be as 
quick as you can, please. 

Susan. I was surprised. I was just going to say, there's 
a wicked little toad ! {exit laughing, d. l. c. ) 

Rennick. That's a nice girl. I hope she'll make haste. 
(takes newspaper from writing table L. ; patting his chest) 
I feel far from comfortable, {sits on chair r. c. and 
opens newspaper) I wonder if that boy, Bullock, had 
been experimenting with my tea? He seemed very anx- 
ious to pass it to me, and then he sniggered. I distrust 
that snigger, {looking at paper) What's this? {read- 
ing) "The Dry Champagne Company." H'm. It was 
a bad day for us when — Hullo ! {reads) " Reorganization 
— new directorate — brighter prospects — shares going up — 
further rise — great demand — " By George 1 I say ! Up- 
on my life, this is — hah ! {reads eagerly, knock heard at d. 
Ii. C.) Why — if it's true, if it's all right, we shall recover 
something yet. {knock repeated) Come in. {engrossed 
in paper) Shares going up. Whew ! 

{Enter Bullock Major, d. l. c.) 

Bullock. Hi ! 

Rennick. {absorbed in paper) I hope it's not merely a 
flash in the pan. 



THE NEW BOY. 39 

Bullock. Hi ! 

Rennick. {without turning Ms head) What is it ? 

Bullock. Frog says, what the dickens do you mean by 
leaving the school-room ? 

Rennick. (not attending) H'm ? 

Bullock, (louder) I say, Frog says — 

Rennick. (ahseyitly) Who's Frog ? 

Bullock. Frenchy — De Brizac. Are you coming ? 

Rennick. (absorbed) Er — no. 

Bullock, (adi^a^icmg) Look here, young feller ! What 
are you always in this room for ? Come out of it ! 

Rennick. Go away, boy ! I'm busy. (Rennick absorbed 
in the paper, has not once looked at Bullock. Bullock 
snatches off Rennick's cap ; drops it on floor and kicks it 
away. Looking up from paper) How dare you, sir ! 
(Bullock snatches newspaper from Rennick, rolls it up 
in a ball and throws at him. It hits him on the back of the 
head as he turns to look after his cap) You impertinent 
cub ! (Bullock puts his foot under the rung of Rennick's 
chair and tilts him over on the floor. On the floor) You 
young scoundrel ! ! I shall tell Doctor Candy and have 
you soundly flogged ! 

Bullock. Say that again ! 

Rennick. I shall report you to Doctor Candy, and 

Bullock. What? (going to Rennick) You'll sneak, 
will you? (doubles his fist and stands over him) 

Rennick. I shall certainly consider it my duty to 

Bullock. Get up ! D'you hear ? Get up ! (Rennick 
rises to his knees, and Bullock seizes him by the collar and 
drags him to his feet, pulling him to L.) Now, then I D'you 
know what we do with sneaks? 

Rennick. No, sir, I do not. 

Bullock. Well, just you try it on, and you'll jolly soon 
find out 1 

Rennick. Excuse mo. I haven't the pleasure of your 
acquaintance, and from what I've seen of you I have no 
desire to cultivate it. 

Bullock. D'you want your head punched ? 

Rennick. Go away — go away ! (goes to R.) 

Bullock, (astonished at his coolness, and laughing) 
Have you ever been to school before ? 

Rennick. Before you were born. 

Bullock. None of your cheek ! or I'll lift you up by the 
ear. (Bullock runs at Rennick, who runs behind the 
ottoman, r.c. They dodge backioards and forwards till 
Bullock catches Rennick and drags him down c.) Come 
here. Don't be a fool, I'm not going to hit you. (looking 
him over) You're just the size I want. 

Rennick. Am I ? 

Bullock. Yes ; you'll do. 



40 THE NEW BOY. 

Eennick. Indeed ! 

Bullock. Look liere. There's an orchard on the other 
side of the playground. 

Rennick. Is there ? 

Bullock. It belongs to an old beast called Stubber. 

Rennick. Does it? 

Bullock. Tiiey've been shaking the trees this morning 
and tiie apples are lying about in heaps. 

Rennick. Are they ? 

Bullock. You can't get over the fence ; they'd see you. 
But there's a loose board you can take out and you can. 
squeeze through the hole ? Twig ? 

Rennick. 1 suppose you want me to keep it dark ? 

Bullock, (sarcastically and laughing) Well, I suppose 
so. 

Rennick. All right. I won't tell, (gfoes r.) 

Bullock. Not if you're caught ? 

Rennick. I— caught ? 

Bullock. You won't be. Well watch the house when 
you're through, and if anybody comes out we'll call, 
" cave," and give you the tip to hook it. 

Rennick. Cave? Hook it? (goes to Bullock) Let us 
understand each other, my young friend. Do you propose 
that /should squeeze through the hole? 

Bullock. Of course. 

Rennick. And purloin the apples ? 

Bullock. Old Stubber won't miss them. 

Rennick. No, sir. Old Stubber will not miss them so 
far as Jam concerned, {picks up fallen chair and places it 
to L. of ottoman, r.c.) 

Bullock, {threateningly) What? 

Rennick. {keeping chair between them) If you want the 
apples you must steal them yourself. 

Bullock. I can't get through, yer fool ; I'm too stout. 

Rennick. {retreating to r. behind ottoman) Then you 
had better apply to one of your schoolfellows. 

Bullock, {following him) Shan't. You're the new 
boy and it's your place to go. 

Rennick. {coming round ottoman and going quickly to 
c.) I distinctly refuse, {runs to d. c. l. Bullock runs 
after him, catches him and brings him down L. c.) 

Bullock. You sleep in my room, don't you? {seizing 
Mm by the collar) All riglit, young 'un — all right ! 

Rennick. Leave go, sir, leave go ! 

Bullock. Wait till you're in bed to-night. I've got a 
pair of leather braces — w^ith buckles— ?>rass buckles! 
{pushes him towards windows, R., holdirig him by the collar 
with one hand, and tivisting his left arm behind his bach 
with the other) 

Rennick. Stop, sir, stop ! You're hurting me ! 



THE NEW BOY. 41 

Bullock. Apples or buckles ? Take your choice. 
Apples or buckles ? 

Rennick. (gasping) My good fellow 

Bullock. Which is it ? 

Eennick. Don't — don't ! 

Bullock. Buckles ? 

Rennick. {choking) Apples — it's apples ! 

Bullock. (exuUingly) Ah ! 

Rennick. {half-strangled) Oh ! (Bullock runs Ren- 
IJJICK quickly off hy ivindows, r. Rennick expostulating 
and Bullock laughing loudly. Enter Mrs. Rennick and 
-Doctor Candy, d. l. c. She has needlework in her hand.) 

Mrs. R. But, really, my dear Horace, I am sure Felix 
^was only joking. 

Candy. No, no. When I came in and found you sitting 
there together {pointing to couch L.) he was on the 
^oint of making you a proposal. 

Mrs. R. He wasn't serious. 

Candy. He asked you to give him one word of hope. I 
lieard him. 

Mrs. R. Yes, but — {sits on ottoman, r. c.) 

Candy. Beware of Felix. Where he's know^n he's not 
liked, and where he is liked he's not known. While I 
"think of it — let me warn you against taking his advice 
with regard to investing any little monej^ you may have 
lying idle. He is very ready with his counsel in these 
-matters. 

Mrs. R. I have nothing to invest — now. 

Candy. Ah, well, I merely warn you. I was foolish 
•enough to be guided by him on one occasion. I'm not a 
man of business — I never was — and he persuaded me to 
take some shares in a company which turned out very 
badly. In fact, it cost me a good round sum and more 
than I could afford to lose. No, no, Martha ; beware of 
Felix. 

Mrs. R. I am sorry to hear you say this. I found him 
so very friendly and sympathetic. He seemed to enjoy 
talking of old times. 

Candy. They were not Ms old times, they were my old 
times {tenderly) our old times. I will not have Felix 
poaching on our property. He has nothing whatever to do 
-with the past ; it belongs exclusively to us. 

Mrs. R. {nervously) Ye— yes. {aside) I wish some 
•one would come I 

Candy. It was such a little thing that came between us 
then — such a very little thing. 

Mrs. R. {aside) Little thing ? My poor dear husband 
Tvas six feet two ! 

Candy. We were very foolish. 

Mrs. R. Yes, very. 



42 THE NEW BOY. 

Candy. But we are older now — and wiser. If — if a 
chance of happiness came in our way we should be more 
reluctant to let it go — should we not ? {sits on chair l. of 
couch) 

Mrs. R. Well — I suppose — (aside) Where in the world 
is Archibald ? 

Candy. Martha — it is not too late. You are still in 
your prime, and I 

Mrs. R. I can't think where Arch — Freddy is ! 

Candy. Never mind Freddy now. Martha ; why should 
we not pick up the thread of our happiness where we broke 
it off ? Let us take the sundered ends and join them with 
a true lover's knot. 

Mrs. R. I — I have — to consider Freddy. 

Candy, (rising) What has he to do with it ? 

Mrs. R. More than you imagine. 

Candy. I will be a second father to him. 

Mrs. R. I — I really don't think he would like it. 

Candy. Not like it ! 

Mrs. R. I am sure he would object. 

Candy. Martha — my dear Martha — do not — pray do not 
let the boy be an obstacle in our path. I know that 
children frequently dislike their parents marrying again, 
but he would soon get used to it. (sits on chair l. of 
couch) 

Mrs. R. I'm afraid he wouldn't. 

(Enter Susan, d. l. c. withher hat on and carryitig a 
bottle wrapped in a paper. She is unobserved.) 

Candy. He would be just the same to you as before. I 
will assure him that it will make no difference to him 
whatever. Martha — I am waiting for your answer, 

Susan, (coining behind them, taking paper off bottle) 
Please, ma'am, I've brought it. (holds bottle close to Mrs. 
Rennick. Candy and Mrs. Rennick start and turn in 
their seats) 

Mrs. R. (fo Susan) What is that? 

Susan. The whiskey, ma'am. 

Candy. Whiskey ? 

Susan. Yes, sir — what Mrs. Bolder sent me for. 

Mrs. R. I sent you for ! 

Susan. Yes. ma'am. Leastways, the young gentleman 
said I was to get it for you. 

Candy, (rising) What young gentleman ? 

Susan. Master Bolder, sir. 

Mrs. R. (rising) Master Bolder told you that I — 
(nervously) There must be some mistake, (looking at 
hottle) This is — Scotch whiskey. 

Susan. He said you wanted Scotch, ma'am. 



THE NEW BOY. 45 

{Enter Rennick hy windows, R.) 

Candy. This is more than I can swallow, (to Rennick) 
Ah, come here, sir. Perhaps you will be good enough to 
explain. 

Rennick. (he has not noticed the bottle) Explain ? 

Candy, (pointing to bottle) What is this? 

Rennick. Eh— oh— well, it looks like a bottle, (aside) 
That idiot Susan ! (Susan puts bottle on sideboard at 
back) , 

Mrs. R. (nervously) There must be a little confusion 

somewhere. 

Candy, (severely) Answer me, Susan. Did he or did 
he not send you for that whiskey ? 

Susan, (getting frightened) Yes, sir. 

Rennick. (with pretended astonishment) Oh ! 

Candy, (to Susan) And told you it was for Mrs, 
Bolder ? 

Susan. Yes. sir. 

Rennick. Oh, what a wicked story ! 

Candy. You deny it? 

Rennick. Most emphatically ! (signals to Susan to hold 
her tongue. Candy goes to fireplace l. , and takes cane from 
corner by mantelshelf) 

Susan. Well, I never ! (to Rennick) Oh, it's no use 
your making faces at me. 

Mrs. R. Freddy, dear ! 

Susan, (to Rennick) You sent me for it, you know you 
did. (half crying) I ain't going to get myself into trouble 
for you, and so I tell you ! 

Rennick. (crossing to c.) If the prevarications of a 
maid-servant are to be accepted before the word of a 
gentleman, all I can say is 

Candy, (flourishing the cane) Silence, sir ! ! (Mrs. 
Rennick screams. Rennick starts on seeing the cane, backs 
to window, R., turns and runs off quickly) 

Mrs. R. (very nervously) Horace ; I feel quite sure 

that . 

Candy. Martha, were I to pass this over, all disci- 
pline would be at an end ! Susan, go and fetch Master 
Bolder. Bring him here at once. 

Susan, (going, r.) Yes, sir. (aside) And serve him 
right, the little imp. I hope he'll get what for ! (exit bif 

Mrs. R. (going to Candy) Horace, he is very delicate ; 
he has no stamina ; his digestion is weak, and he is accus- 
tomed to take a little whiskey. 

Candy. It's not so much the whiskey as the falsehood 
— the unblushing falsehood which I cannot and will not 
excuse. 



44: THE NEW BOY 

Mrs. R. But for this once, let me entreat you 

{Elder Stubber, d. l. c. He bursts in, boiling over with 
rage. He carries a stick. ) 

Stubber. I don't know where your servants are ! I 
couldn't make anyone hear ! Nobody answers the con- 
founded bell ! It's abominable, atrocious ; your school is a 
disj^race to the neighborhood, sir ! 

Candy. Mr. Stubber ! 

Stubber. If you've no control over those young brats of 
yours, you've no business to keep a school at all. 

Candy. Mr. Stubber ! May 1 inquire 

Stubber, Apples, sir, apples. One of those young de- 
mons has been stealing my apples ! I all but caught him, 
but he was too quick for me. (flourishing his stick) How- 
ever, as he was slipping through the fence I managed to 
^ive him one that he'll remember ! 

Candy. Mr. Stubber ; I am surprised ! 

Stubber. So was he. I made him squeak ! 

Candy. You will leave this in my hands. 

(Enter Rennick by ivindoivs, r. , followed by Susan who 
pushes him on.) 

Stubber. No, I'll be hanged if I do ! I'm going to stop 
this kind of thing once for all, and I tell you plainly — (sees 
Hennick) Ah ! There he is ! ! That's the boy ! ! ! 

Candy, (looking at Rennick) Wliat ? ! 

Mrs. R. Freddy ! ! ! 

Rennick. (aside) Stubber ! 

Stubber. (to Rennick) Ah, ha ! You thought you'd 
get off, you thieving young rascal ! (advancing and shak- 
ing his stick) You'll find those apples of mine are the 
sourest you ever put your teeth into ! ! 

Mrs. R. (frightened) Horace ; you will not allow 

Candy, (to Stubber) Quietly, sir ; quietly, I beg. 

Rennick, (crossing to c.) It seems to me there is a 
great deal of unnecessary excitement. I think if we take 
B,n unprejudiced view of the matter 

Candy, (to Rennick) Silence, sir ! 

Mrs. R. (aside to Rennick) My love, my dearest, what 
induced you ? 

Rennick. (aside to Mrs. R.) I couldn't help myself. 

Mrs. R. (aside to Rennick) But you did help yourself. 

Rennick. (to Stubber) If, as I presume, Mr. Stubber 
requires pecuniary compensation — ( feeling in his pocket) 
How much are these apples ? Six a penny ? 

Stubber. (angrily) Tchah ! 

Mrs. R. Yes, yes ; of course. If Mr. Stubber will 
kindly name the amount of his loss, we shall be only too 
happy 



THE NEW BOY. 4^ 

Stubber. No ! Compensation won't do for me ! 

Candy. Nor can I agree to it. The boy is bringing dis-^ 
grace on the school in every way and I must make a public 
example of him ! 

Mrs. R. Horace ! ! 

Stubber. Example be hanged ! (Roach and Nancy 
appear at ivindows, r.) 

Candy. ( indignantly, to Stubber) Then, what is it 
you want ? 

Stubber. {flaring up) Justice ; and I'm going to have 
it. I shall give the boy in charge ! {goes up to door, L. C.) 

Rennick. In charge ! 

Mrs. R. In charge ! 

Roach. "What's up ? ! 

Rennick. (excitedly) The game's up. It's no use ; I'm 
not a child ; you don't know who I am ; I'm 

Mrs. R. {aside to Rennick, mgrea^ agitation) No, no, 
Archibald. We shall be beggars — hush — not a word — for 
Ttiy sake ! ! 

Stubber. {flinging open door, l. c. and calling out) " Con- 
stable ! " , 

Policeman, {outside) Here, sir. (Policeman appears 
in doorway) 

Rennick. {collapsing) Martha ! ! ! (gets behind Mrs. 
Rennick and peeps round her at the Policeman. Stubber 
points to Rennick. Co7isternation of the others) 

Act Drop— Quick. 

(Second Picture. The Policeman is holding Rennick 
hy the arm and leading him off through the dooricay. Mrs. 
Rennick has sunk down on the ottoman r. c. She is in de- 
spair) 



ACT III. 

{The next morning.) 

(Scene. — The same as Acts I. and II. Enter Nancy by^ 

windows R.) 

Nancy. Poor dear Freddy ! I'm sure I have hardly^ 
slept a wink all night thinking of that poor boy in tha 
police-station. That hateful Mr. Stubber and his horrid, 
apples ! Surly, ugly old wretch ! 

(Enter De Brizac quickly D. l. c.) , - 

De B. I saw you come in from the school-room window* 



46 THE NEW BOY. 

I take my chance, but I have not a minute, {taking her 
hands) Ah, my beautiful ! 

Nancy. Oh Theodore, isn't it awful ? ! 

DeB. What is that? 

Nancy. Poor Freddy. 

De B. Ah, horrible ! A disgrace to the school. What 
a come up ! 

Nancy, (correcting Mm) Down. 

De B. Come down. Your ups and your downs they 
confuse me. 

Nancy. Oh why did Dr. Candy permit it ? 

De B. He could not help it. Mr. Stubber gave Freddy 
in charge and the policeman took him down. 

Nancy. Up. 

DeB. Up. 

Nancy. What a night he must have spent in the cell ! 
(turns up to ottoman, r. c.) 

De B. In the what ? 

Nancy. The police cell. 

De B. Oh no ! he sleep here. 

Nancy. Here? {sits on ottoman, R. c.) 

De B. (goes to chair l. of ottoman and stands leaning 
over the back) Yes. He w^as — what do you call it ? — ad- 
mitted to bail. They let him find a surety — money, you 
know, and Dr. Candy came up with it. 

Nancy. Down. 

De B. Down with it. 

Nancy. Oh, I'm so glad. All night long I've been 
picturing him chained to a plank bed in a cold cell with 
spiders and things ! 

De B. But what a tender heart you have. You lay 
awake all night ? {getting a little nearer ottoman, hehhid 
chair) 

Nancy. Very nearly. 

De B. You must be knocked down. 

Nancy. Up. 

De B. Up. {bending over her tenderly) And during 
all those long hours did you think of no one but — young 
Bolder ? 

Nancy, (looking down shyly and turning her head to 
R.) I — I don't know. 

DeB. (coming slowly round back of ottoman to R.) 
Was there not one thought — one little thought for someone 
else? 

Nancy, (looking down in her lap) Perhaps. 

De B. You are not sure ? 
• Nancy. Well — (turns her head to l.) — I think I am. 

De B. {sitting beside her on ottoman) But you do not 
say yes. 

Nancy. Girls should never say yes. 



THE NEW BOY. 47 

De B. Why ? 

Nancy. Because they should always say no. 

De B. If I take your hand — {taking her hand) — You 
will say no ? If I place my arm so — {putting Ms arm 
round her waist) — you will say no ? If I were to ask you 
for one little kiss — you would say no ? 

Nancy. Of course it would be only right for me to say 
— no. 

De B. Ah ! When you say it like that, I do not care 
what you say ! {about to kiss her) 

{Enter Mrs. Rennick d. l. c. Nancy and De B. Jump up.) 

Nancy, {going to Mrs. R.) Good morning, Cousin 
Martha. 

Mrs. R. Ah ! Good morning, dear, {they kiss) 

De B. {aside) They kiss — and before my eyes — it is 
maddening, {turns up stage R.) 

Nancy. I am so very glad to hear poor Freddy wasn't 
kept at the police station last night. 

Mrs. R. Oh, my dear, I was so thankful too. 

Nancy. Perhaps it will all blow over. 

Mrs, R. My child, he has to appear before the magis- 
trate at eleven o'clock ! 

De B. {going to d. l. c.) Eleven o'clock? It is ten, 
now. 

Mrs. R. Mr. de Brizac if you see my hus — son, will you 
kindly tell him I am here ? 

De B. I will find him. 

Mrs. R. Thank you so much. 

De B. I will go at once and look him down — up — down 
— up. My gracious ! what a language ! ! ! {exit b. l. c.) 

Mrs. R. Doctor Candy is dreadfully angry. He says 
such a thing has never happened before in the school, and 
that Freddy must take the consequences. He declares he 
won't go to the court to say a word in his favor. 

Nancy. Then father will go ; I am sure he will. 

Mrs. R. Oh, if he only would ! 

Nancy. Of course he will, {going n.) I'll go and find 
him at once. 

Mrs. R. It would be most kind of him. I can't tell you 
how grateful I should be. 

Nancy. Don't be down-hearted, Cousin Martha. Father 
knows all about the law. He has had a good deal to do 
with it. {exit quickly by windows R.) 

Mrs. R. {very restless and anxious) It will be a great 
relief if Felix will go to the court. I could never screw up 
my courage to go myself. My feelings would get the 
better of me ; I couldn't keep silent if I were to see poor 
darling Archibald in the prisoner's dock. 



48 THE NEW BOY. 

{Enter Rennick d. l. c. He is wearing an Eton jacket and 
trousers. He looks pale and haggard, and is terribly 
dejected. ) 

Rennick. Martha. 

Mrs. R. Archibald ! (goes quickly to him) 

Rennick. (coming down c . ) They told me you were= 
here. 

Mrs. R. (clasping him in her arms) My dearest, my 
darling, my little, little love ! 

Rennick. Your little love has gone a long way, Martha. 
It has carried me into the pit of Tophet. Oh, how I have- 
suffered ! 

Mrs. R. My own ! How pale you look ! 

Rennick. Pale, Martha ? Yes, my face is pale ; but tha 
rest of me — the rest of me is black and blue ! (sinks down 
on couch L.) 

Mrs. R. Was the bed so hard ! 

Rennick. My connection with the bed was only momen- 
tary. We parted at an early hour. 

Mrs. R. Have you been up long? 

Rennick. About six weeks, I think. 

Mrs. R. (going to him) Dearest ! You couldn't sleep ? 

Rennick. Sleep ? I have passed an awful night with 
Bullock Major ! 

Mrs. R. Oh ! (takes his hand in both of hers) 
_ Rennick. There were five boys in the dormitory, exclu- 
sive of Bullock, who was master of the ceremonies and led, 
all the games. 

Mrs. R. Games? 

Rennick. They were original and varied ; and are, 
I believe, collectively entitled, "The New Boy at 
Candy's." 

Mrs. R. Oh, how could they dare 

Rennick. I put that question to them more than once,, 
but received ambiguous, not to say unfavourable, replies.. 
(rises and crosses r.) 

Mrs. R. And they made you play ? 

Rennick. They did. We began with a rat hunt. 

Mrs. R. What horrid little wretches ! They keep rats 
in their bedroom ? 

Rennick. No, no. J was the rat. I had to crawl along 
under the beds while they chivied me with boots. If they" 
failed to hit me ten times in two minutes it was my game. 
They always won. 

Mrs. R. How horrible ! 

Rennick. Oh, the rat was comparatively tame. The^ 
most unpleasant diversion was the tug of war. 

Mrs. R. Oh, I know. Pulling against each otlier with, 
a rope. 



THE NEW BOY. 49 

Rennick. a rope ? They had no rope, so they used me ! 

Mrs. R. You!! 

Rennick. It was a miracle I didn't come in half. I am 
sure, this morning, I am at least two inches longer. 

Mrs. R. Oh, my poor suffering darling, 

Rennick. Bullock Major was born too late. With that 
boy's inventive genius for devising tortures he would liave 
been invaluable in the middle ages, (sits on ottoman r. c.) 

Mrs. R. But why didn't you resist ? 

Rennick. My dear, they were six to one, and Bullock 
Major counts two. 

Mrs. R. If you had only called out. 

Rennick. You can't call out with a sponge in your 
moutli. It was a fatal mistake our applying for bail. It 
would have been far better for me to have remained in 
peaceful solitude in the police cell. 

Mrs. R. {going to him and throwing her arms round 
him) My own noble love ! ! 

Rennick. {rising and disengaging himself) Take care, 
Martha ; please take care ! I am not in a condition to be 
cuddled ! 

Mrs. R. That you should have suffered like this, and 
borne it in silence ! 

Rennick. For your sake, Martha ; all for your sake. 
More than once I was on the point of telling them who I 
was, but I thought of you in the workhouse and that gave 
me strength. 

Mrs. R. My hero ! {about to throw her arms round 
him. He shrinks from her) 

Rennick. Personally I should not object to the Union. 
At any rate the treatment would be less severe, {feeling 
his back) and the lumps would be confined to the skilly. 

Mrs. R. {loiping her eyes) Archibald ; I have been a 
weak, selfish woman. If it will conduce to your happiness, 
let us go to the workhouse. 

Rennick. You forget. By the considerate rules of that 
charitable establishment husbands and wives are separated. 

Mrs. R. Separated ! 

Rennick. Could you bear that ? 

Mrs. R. It would kill me. 

Rennick. Ah ! 

Mrs. R. Archibald ! 

Rennick. Martha ! {they fall into each other'* s arms 
and sob) 

Mrs. R. We will never — never — separate. 

Rennick. Ne — never. 

Mrs. R. My flower — my little blossom — you would droop 
and fade — without my care ! 

Rennick. I should wither on the stalk, {she dries her 
eyes and his with her handkerchief) Come, Martha, come 

4 



60 THE NEW BOY. 

— be brave. I have still much before me, and you must 
keep my spirits up. I shall have to start in half an hour. 
I mustn't keep the magistrate waiting. Magistrates are 
so very touchy, {turns up c.) 

{Enter Roach and Nancy hy windows r.) 

Roach. My dear Martha ; of course. I will go to the 
court with pleasure. Leave it to me. I'll speak for him 
and we'll pull him through. 

Mrs. R. I know you will do your best. 

Roach. Knowing how distressed you were, I called 
upon Mr. Stubber this morning and appealed to his feel- 
ings. 

Mrs. R. Oh, what did he say ? 

Roach. Very little. I said, " Mr. Stubber ; you have a 
kind heart." He replied, "You're a liar." After that 
there was nothing more to be said. 

Mrs. R. Then there is no hope ! {sinks irito chair up c, 
Nancy goes to her) 

Roach. Not from that quarter. But never mind. They 
won't liang Freddy this time. Ha, ha ! 

Rennick. {gloomily echoing the laugh) Ha, ha ! {sita 
on couch L. having crossed at back) 

Roach. Penal servitude for life is the worst that can. 
happen to him. 

Rennick. Do you think they'll let me off with a fine ? 

Roach. To be sure. Half-a-crown and costs — some- 
thing of that kind. 

Nancy. They won't imprison him, will they ? 

Roach. Ha, ha ! They might give him three days. 

Rennick. {aside) Even that would be preferable to 
passing another night witli Bullock Major. 

Roach. A few apples ! What is it ? Nothing. What 
boy liasn't robbed an orchard ? I know /have, and I sup- 
pose no one would presume to call me a thief ? 

Rennick. {aside) I don't knoAY so much about that 

{Enter Susan, d. l. c.) 

Susan, {to Mrs. R.) If you please, ma'am, Doctor 
Candy would like to speak with you in the study. 

Roach, {aside) The deuce he would. 

Mrs. R. {rising, to Susan) Does he want Master 
Freddy ? 

Rennick. {rising quickly) Why raise such a question ? 
{goes down L. ) 

Susan. No, ma'am. (Rennick drops into chair, leans 
his elboivs on the writing table, and buries his face in his 
hands) 

Roach, {aside) Of course not 



THE NEW BOY. 51 

Mrs. R. I will come, {going to d. l. c.) 

Roach, {to Mrs. R.) And I too, if you'll permit me ? 
It will be better for you not to see him alone — much better. 
{exeunt Mrs. Rennick and Roach d. l. c, followed hy 
Susan) 

Nancy, {going to him) Oh, Freddy, Freddy; I knew 
you were a naughty boy, but I didn't think you were as 
wicked as this, {pause; she looks at window and door, 
then puts her hand 07i his shoulder, ivheedling him) Got 
any of the apples ? 

Rennick. {ivithout raising his head) No, I have not. 

Nancy. Greedy thing, {going to c.) You might have 
saved me some. 

Rennick. {raising his head) You shock me very 
much. 

Nancy. You don't love me a bit. When Bullock Major 
has collared some tuck he doesn't forget me. 

Rennick. {sitting upright) I don't pi-etend to emulate 
Master Bullock's accomplishments as to collaring tuck or 
anything else. He is a lad with whom I have no sympathy 
whatever. 

Nancy. Oh ! Oh, how exclusive we are ! 

Rennick. And I don't think he is at all a desirable com.- 
panion for a child of your age. 

Nancy. Child I And pray, what are you ? 

Rennick. {rises) Old enough to be your father ; and if 
I were your father 

Nancy, {laughing) Why, you silly little goose, you're 
jealous. Yes, you are ; you're jealous of Bullock Major ! 
Oh, you little duck ; you don't know liow funny you look ! 

Rennick. Thank you ; I am as fully sensible of the 
absurdity of my present appearance as you can possibly be. 

Nancy. There, there, there, {putting her arm around 
his neck) Did 'um tease 'um then ? Poor father Freddy. 
Don't cry ; there's a dear little father, and she'll give him. 
a kiss. 

Rennick. {disengaging himself) My dear child, you 
mustn't, you really mustn't. I can't permit it. {turns up 
stage) 

Nancy. Oh ! Oh, there's a naughty temper. 

^ (Bullock looks in at window, r.) 

Bullock. Hi ! Here — you feller ! {whistles to attract 
attention) 

Nancy, {to Bullock) Oh, it's you, is it? You can 
oome in. There's nobody here. (goesL.) 

Bullock, {entering) Where's old Candy ? 

Rennick. {he is very cold and distant with Bullock) 
You will find Doctor Candy in his study. 



52 THE NEW BOY. 

Bullock. I don't want him, I want you. Look here ; 
what are you going to say ? 

Rennick. I have nothing to say to you. 

Bullock. I don't mean me, yer fool ; I mean, what are 
you going to say to the Magistrate ? 

Rennick. That is my affair. 

Bullock. No, it isn't : it's mine. 

Nancy. Now, be good boys and don't quarrel. 

Bullock, (to Rennick) Are you going to split ? 

Rennick. I beg your pardon ? 

Bullock. Are you going to be a sneak ? 

Rennick. If you mean, am I going to explain matters 
to the Magistrate, I beg to inform you that that is my in- 
tention. 

Bullock. Oh, there's a beast! (coming down r. c.) 
There's a low, crawling beast ! 

Nancy, (going a few paces toward Bullock) No, he 
isn't ! 

Bullock. There's a cowardly funk ! 

Nancy, (going nearer Bullock) You're another. 

Bullock, (going to Nancy) Don't you interfere ! 

Nancy. Then give me back my letters. 

Bullock. I don't want your stupid letters. 

Nancy. Yes, you do. 

Bullock. No, I don't. 

Nancy. You do. 

Bullock. I don't. 

Nancy, (half crying) You're a horrid common boy, 
and I hate you ! 

Bullock. I wouldn't be a girl. 

Nancy. No, you're too ugly. 

Rennick. (coming between them) These personal re- 
criminations are most distressing and I really think 

Bullock. Shut up ! (pulls Rennick by his right arm) 
Come here ! 

Nancy, (pulling Rennick by his left arm) No, don't I 

Bullock, (pulling Rennick) Come here, I say ! 

Nancy, (_p^t^^^ng Rennick) He shan't ! (they are pull- 
ing him opposite ways) 

Rennick. This is exceedingly painful. 

Bullock. I'm only going to talk to you. 

Nancy, (releasing Rennick) Then do it gently. 

Bullock, (releasing Rennick) I wouldn't have a girl 
take my part. 

Nancy. You wouldn't find one. 

Bullock, (shooting out his underlip at her) Ooh I 

Nancy, (imitating him) Ooh ! 

Rennick. (stamping his foot) Children, children, for 
goodness' sake restrain these violent ebullitions. (Nancy 
turns up stage) 



THE NEW BOY. 53 

Bullock, {to Rennick) Who are you calling children ? 
You'll get yer head punched presently ! Now, look here. 
What do you want ? 

Eennick. I don't understand you. 

Bullock. Yes, you do. You want to be squared. 

Rennick. Squared ! 

Bullock, {taking a knife from his pocket) Here's a 
knife with three blades and a corkscrew. Hold your tongue 
audit's yours. 

Rennick. No, thank you. 

Bullock. What ! Well, look here, what do you say to 
my white mice ? 

Rennick. I have nothing to say to your white mice. 

Bullock. They're as lively as fleas. 

Rennick. And, as far as I am concerned, equally un- 
desirable. 

Bullock. Come then. You shall have my guinea-pig, 
and I'll chuck you in the hutch. 

Rennick. No, sir ; you will not chuck me in the hutch. 
(turns away from Mm, to L.) 

Bullock, {going r.) Well, I have nothing else for 
you. 

Rennick. I'm delighted to hear it. {goes l. ) 

Bullock. Oh, you are a bounder ! Of all the sneaking 
creepers that ever I — 

Nancy, {coming doimi c.) What do you mean ? 
. Bullock. He's going to tell the magistrate that I sent 
Mm after the apples. 

Nancy, {to Rennick) Did he send you after them ? 

Rennick. Certainly. 

Nancy, {to Bullock) You wretch ! You miserable, 
cowardly wretch ! You were afraid to go yourself, so you 
sent this poor little boy ! 

Bullock. What are new boys for ? 

Nancy. He liasn't said a word about it — he's too noble 
— but I will. I'll tell Dr. Candy and everybody that it was 
all your doing. There ! 

Bullock. You'd better not ! 

Nancy. You can't frighten me 

Bullock. Yes, I can. 

Nancy. No, you can't. 

Bullock, {catching Nancy hy her wrist) If you say a 
word I'll split on you. They shall all hear of your goings on 
with de Brizac. I know all about it. I saw him kissing 
your photograph ! 

Nancy. Oh ! ! 

Rennick. Don't mind him, my child, don't mind him. 
It will be a long time before anyone kisses his photograph. 

Bullock, {doubling his fists) All right, youngster, all 
right, {exidting to Nancy) Ah, ha ! I've shut you up, I 



54: THE NEW BOY. 

fancy. Pll teach girls to interfere with me. Have your 
say, Miss, and I'll have mine ; you see if I don't, (goes R. ) 
As for you, young Bolder ; wait till bed-time ! We only 
began with you last night, but, by Jingo, we'll finish you 
to-night ! {exit by windows, R. Rennick sinks down on 
couch, L.) 

Nancy. And to think that I was actually engaged to 
that boj'^ for three weeks ! 

Rennick. I must confess he does not strike me as the 
kind of youth to inspire affection. 

Nancy. He began so well. 

Rennick. He appears to have fallen off lately. 

Nancy. He said he had never loved anyone before. 

Rennick. He forgot himself, (rises) 

Nancy. If I were to tell Theodore I believe he would 
kill him. 

Rennick. (quickly) I should tell him at once. Noth- 
ing short of murder will effect a radical alteration in that 
boy. 

Nancy. Freddy, dear, you must tell the Magistrate 
everything. 

Rennick. If he will only listen to me. 

Nancy. He must listen to you. 

Rennick. Not necessarily. Magistrates have a way of 
monopolising the conversation, (turns up c.) 

Nancy. Oh, you poor, poor boy ! (goes r.) 

(Enter Roach d. l. c. with a newspaper which he is reading.) 

Roach, (coming down L. To himself) Just my luck ! 
My luck all over ! Shares gone up again yesterday ! I 
thought it was only an expiring fizzle ; but it wasn't ; it's 
bona fide ! Tchah ! 

Nancy, (going to Roach) Have you seen Doctor 
Candy ? 

Roach, (absently) Yes, a little. There's something 
wrong — there's something devilish wrong in the world. 
Directly I get out of a sinking ship it's sure to float ! 

Nancy. What is it ? What has happened ? ! 

Roach. The D. C. C. — Dry Champagne Company, (sits 
in chair down L. ) 

Rennick. (at back, aside) Hullo ! iiZe's seen it ! 

Roach. It's taken a fresh start — enormous demand in 
Central Africa — natives won't drink anything else — rum 
isn't in it — special popular brand at two and eleven — people 
selling their ornaments — Chiefs pawning their wives and 
families — men, women, children, and missionaries all 
swimming in dry champagne ! 

Rennick. (aside) I say ! 

Nancy. Well, that's good for you, isn't it ? 



THE NEW BOY. 55 

Roach. Good ! I'm out of it — out of it ! I left the 
Board a month ago and sold every share ! 

Nancy. Can't you. buy some back? 

Roach. Buck ? {starts up. putting newspaper on l. of 
writing table. Seizing an idea) By Jove ! That's an 
idea. Candy bought some. H'm ! I wonder if he has 
seen tlie paper ? 

Rennick. {aside) Which means, he hopes he hasn't. 
{takes scrap of paper from bureau up r. and feels in his 
pockets for a pencil ) 

Roach, {aside to Nancy) That boy's mother — Martha 
— holds a lot of them. 

Nancy. Oh, I'm so glad. 

Roach. Eh? Oh, yes — yes — of course — so am I. 

Rennick. {aside) Ah! Here's a pencil, {writes note) 

Roach, {aside) Martha won't look at the " Money 
Market ; " women never do ; and if Candy hasn't seen it, 
rii put — yes, I will — I'll put a guinea in the poor box ! 
(groesR.) 

{Enter Mrs. Rennick, Candy, and De Brizac, d. l. c.) 

Mrs. R. {looking at her watch) Just half-past ten. 

Candy. Yes, It is time he left, (^o Rennick) Freddy, 
you will go to the court now and Monsieur de Brizac will 
accompany you. 

Mrs. R. Felix has most kindlj^ offered — 

Roach. To be sure. But — perhaps it would be wiser to 
leave it to our friend de Brizac. I might be carried away 
by my feelings and say more than I ought, which would 
prejudice the case. Yes, I think — I think I had better not 
go. 

Mrs. R. Oh — very well, {talks aside with Candy) 

Roach, {aside) I haven't a minute to lose, {turns up 
stage) 

Rennick. {aside to Nancy. Giving her note) Nancy 
— Nancy. Give this to Doctor Candy, will you? 

Nancy. All right. 

De B. Come, Bolder. 

Nancy, {aside to Rennick) Keep up your spirits, dear. 
(Rennick goes to d. l. c.) 

Roach. Don't be frightened, my boy. Put a good face 
on it. It's nothing when you're used to it. I speak from 
experi — from hearsay. 

Mrs. R. {going to Rennick) Darling, I'll go to the gar- 
den gate with you. You will soon be back again. 

Rennick. {nervously) I hope so. 

Mrs. R. How are you feeling? 

Rennick. Rather poorly. 

Mrs. R. Dearest ! {almost breaking down) 



50 THE NEW BOY. 

Rennick. (pulling himself together) Come, come, this 
won't do ; we must bear up. This is not the first time in 
history that the innocent has suffered for the giiilty. 

Mrs. R. My noble love 1 (exeunt Rennick and Mrs. R. 
with her arm around his neck, followed by De B. d. l. c. 
Nancy goes to ivindows e. and stands ivatching for them to 
go down the garden) 

Roach. This is very upsetting for poor Martha. 

Candy. It's a disgraceful business. I am very much 
troubled about it. 

Roach. I am sure you must be. I'm exceedingly sorry. 
You have had quite enough to worry you lately without 
this. 

Candy. What? (sits at writing-table l. and writes 
letter) 

Roach. And all through me — that is what distresses 
me — all through my unhappily misplaced confidence in the 
stability of the concern. 

Candy. Ah ! 

Roach. I am referring to the Dry Champagne Company. 

Candy. Yes, I know. 

Nancy, (turning her head) Freddy and Monsieur de 
Brizac are gone. 

Roach, (going to Nancy) Run and join cousin Martlia 
in the garden. She will like to have you with her. 

Nancy. Oh, I forgot, (remembering note) This is for 
Dr. Candy. 

Roach, (takiiig note from her) All right. Runaway, 
my child, run away. (Candy who is busy with his back 
towards them does not hear the allusion to the note ; exit 
Nancy by ivindows r.) As I was saying, my dear Horace, 
I am greatly troubled by this unfortunate business. 

Candy. Ah, to be sure ; you were a heavy loser. 

Roach. I was not thinking of mj^self. 

Candy. H'm. (aside) An original train of thought 
for him. 

Roach, (aside) The paper ! He'll see the paper ! (aloud 
going to Candy) I advised you for the best, (puts his 
right hand on Candy's shoulder. Candy looks up from his 
ivriting and drops his pen on the floor. As he stoops to 
pick it up Roach takes the neiospaper from the table, puts 
it quickly behind his back, and backs away to c.) That is 
some consolation as far as it goes : but it does not go far 
enough. I can't forget it : it keeps me awake at night : it 
has been preying on my mind for the last month. Every 
morning I picture you to myself scanning the "Money 
Market." 

Candy. I? I never look at it. (continues ivriting) 

Roach. You don't? (turns his back to Candy and folds 
newspaper) 



THE NEW BOY. 57 

Candy What would be the good ? The money is gone 
and there's an end of it. No more business for me. i 
have had enough of it to last my life-time. 

Candy I' ve'put the thing at the back of ray he^ad and 
have no desire to be constantly reminded of my toily by 

%olci^^fputs paper in his pocket, leaving one end 
sticldna out) You are so philosophical. I envy you. 

cIndy Ah, you're a speculator. I'm a schoolmaster. 
Every man to his trade. I ought to have stuck to mine. 

R04GH. I wish you had ; I sincerely wish you had. 

Candy. It's no use crying over spilt milk. 

Roach But we may sometimes save a few drops, my 
dear Horace ; the shares— as we know to our cost-aro 
practically worthless. They might-I don t say they 
^ould-but they might fetch a shilling .^f^^^-.^^l^ 
pound share for one shilling ! Only to thmk of it ? You 
hold— two hundred of them, I think :" 

Candy. Yes. „. , , 

Roach Two hundred at a shilling— ten pounds. 

Candy, (rising) And I'm afraid I shan't even get 

^^ROACH. Of course I'm talking of selling in the open 
market. It's just barely possible that I might be able to 
Sspose of them privately for a trifle more ; say-^one and 

*"cTN?>r Ti7«^^^^^^^ t"ub\e. (fastens up his 

'^"n'Tt'^n^ot the trouble-that's nothing. What I 
so particularly desire is that I may be the means of !-ecov- 
ering something-an infinitesimal sum I fear— but stiil 
Smithing of whatyouhavelostthroughtakingm^^^^^^^ 
Candy, (aside) It sounds friendly. I \^onder ii i 

"^^SrcSXw!'?'!! tell you what 111 do Ho..ce, As you 
said iust now, you are not a speculator ; but 1 am. it s a 
?isk-I know that-but it will be a pleasure to incur t. 
Your two hundred shares are only worth about ten pounds. 
Well I'll give you fifty for them. 

Candy. ^ I stand to lose two thousand. Humph. Fifty 

^ RoIch" ' Are woiTh two thousand in the bush-other- 
wSe the company. Come; I'll give you fifty and take 

nay chance. .,, „ , .. 

Candy I'm afraid you will find it a poor one. 
RoIcH Never mind that, (tapping Candy's chest nnth 
RENmCK's no^e) That's my look out (rememhermg note) 
Oh, I forgot this, (holding out note) It s for you. 
Candy, (taking note) What is it ? 



58 THE NEW BOY. 

Roach. I don't know. Nancy gave it me. Someone 
left it, I suppose. 

Candy, {opening letter) Well, Felix ; I must say this, 
offer of yours seems to me to be a very — (looking at note) 
Excuse me a moment. 

Roach. Certainly, my dear Horace, {going r. aside) 
I've got him ! By George, I've got him ! 

Candy, {aside, reading note) " Don't on any account, 
sell shares in Dry Champagne Company to Roach. They 
are going up like smoke. Read to-day's paper. A. Ren- 
nick." Rennick ! Who's Rennick? Where have I heard 
that name? {reading) "Don't on any account sell — "" 
Humph ! 

Roach. Nothing — wrong, Horace ? 

Candy. Nothing at all. Quite the contrary. 

Roach. I was afraid it was something unpleasant. 

Candy. No ; it's most satisfactory. 

Roach. I'm very glad. Well : shall we conclude the 
business ? If you will just give me a line in writing saying 
you agree to sell me the shares it will be all that is neces- 
sary pending the transfer. 

Candy. On second thoughts, Felix, I hardly like to take^ 
your money. 

Roach. Now, my dear Horace ! 

Candy. It is, of course, very kind and disinterested of 
you, but {goes up stage) 

Roach. It's nothing of the sort. It is simply a matter 
of conscience. I will take no denial. 

Candy. I don't like your losing by it. 

Roach, {following Mm) Oh, but I shan't. I mean, I 
mayn't. I wish you wouldn't consider me. 

Candy. You are very unselfish. 

Roach. Nonsense. What are fifty pounds ? 

Candy. Not much — under the circumstances. 

Roach. Very well then. Consider it a mere commercial 
transaction. Don't look upon me as a friend, but simply 
as a man of business. 

Candy. My dear Felix, I can assure you I should never,, 
for one moment, have the slightest doubt of your capacity 
— as a man of business, {exit d. l. c.) 

Roach. Confound it ! {comes down c.) These absurd 
scruples of his are most annojdng ! Why can't he leave 
me to take care of myself ? Those infernal three F.'s, feel- 
ing, fairness, and friendship, are the enemies of all busi- 
ness, {enter Mrs. R. hy window R.) Ah, Martha ! Freddy 
not back yet ? 

Mrs. R. Not yet. 

Roach. He will not be long. 

Mrs. R. I trust not. {goes to table down r. , sits, and. 
takes up her needlework) 



THE NEW BOY. 59 

Roach. Poor little chap. He is a brave little fellow ; 
and so intelligent, so remarkably intelligent. He hap- 
pened to mention — and T was deeply grieved to hear it — 
that you had sustained a rather heavy loss in connection 
with some company. The — er — er Dry Champagne Com- 
pany I think he said. 

Mrs. R. That is so. It has been a terrible business for 
us. 

Roach. Dear, dear ! 

Mrs. R. My — Freddy tells me you were one of the 
directors. 

Roach, {taken hack) Oh — yes — I was. {aside) How 
did that boy know ? {aloud) I did my best to save the 
company, but they wouldn't take my advice, so I retired. 
{musing) Dear me. You lost heavily ! 

Mrs. R. We did indeed. 

Roach. So did I. {pause) Martha, we are not only 
cousins, but — there is a stronger — well, you know what ray 
feelings are. Now I'll tell you what I'll do. These unfor- 
tunate shares of yours are almost valueless. 

Mrs. R. Oh no ; they are going up. 

Roach. I beg your pardon ? 

Mrs. R. They are rising steadily. 

Roach. Who says so ? 

Mrs. R. Freddy. 

Roach, {aside) Confound that boy ! ! 

Mrs. R. He saw it in the paper. The future prospects- 
of the company are most encouraging. 

Roach. No ! you don't say so ! Dear, dear ! Well, all 
I can say is, my dear Martha, I'm delighted to hear it. 
{shakes hands with her. Enter Candy d. l. c. ) I congratu- 
late you most heartily. This is good news indeed ! 

Candy. What is that ? Have they let Freddy off ? 

Mrs. R. He has not yet returned. 

Candy. Then what is this good news ? {comes down 
L. c.) 

Mrs. R. I was telling Felix how the shares of the Dry 
Champagne Company are rising rapidly. 

Roach. Yes, what do you think of that, Horace ? That's 
a good hearing, is it not ? ! 

Candy. It is indeed. You hadn't seen the paper ? 

Roach. My dear Horace ! You forget the offer I made 
you just now. 

Candy. No, I do not. 

Roach. I should have robbed you. Martha, I should 
positively have robbed Horace. Don't part with a share, 
3oaj good sir, not a single share. 

Candy. I don't intend to. 

Roach. Good. 

Candy, {going to writing-table and looking about him} 



60 THE NEW BOY. 

I can't think what has become of to-day's paper. You have 
not seen it, Martha ? 

Mrs. R. No. {rises and goes up stage, looking about her) 

Roach. Perhaps it hasn't come. 

Candy. Yes, it has. (seeing corner of paper sticking 
out of Roach's tail pocket) Why, you've got one in your 
pocket, Felix, 

Roach, (feeling his pocket behind) Have I ? Oh — ah 
— it's yesterday's. 

Candy. That will do. 

Roach. There's nothing in it. 

Candy. Let me see it, will you? (Mrs. Rennick sits 
on ottoman, R. c. ) 

Roach, (taking out paper) Certainly, but — there's no 
news. There never is nowadays, (affecting surprise) 
What ! Why, bless my soul, it's to-day's ! How very odd. 

Candy. Curious. 

Roach. Isn't it ? Ha, ha ! 

Candy, (holding out his hand for paper) Will you 
allow me ? 

Roach. You wish to- 

Candy. If you please. 

Roach. Oh, certainly, (gives paper to Candy and looks 
terribly disgusted ; to Mrs. R.) That's Freddy, you know. 
That's one of his tricks. I've been hunting for the paper 
the whole morning, and I had it in my pocket all the time. 
Ha, ha ! 

Candy, (ironically) Ha, ha ! (looking over paper) 
And do you hold shares in this company, Martha ? 

Mrs. R. a large number, I'm sorry to say. 

Roach. Sorry? No, no. You're in luck after all, so 
the paper says. 

Candy. I thought you hadn't seen it. 

Roach. Martha told me, Martha told me. 

Candy, (sits on chair l. ; looking over paper) Dear 
me ! It is so. They prophesy a rapid recovery. 

Mrs. R. It sounds too good to be true ! 

Roach, (vehemently) I have it ! ! 

Candy, (starting) Good gracious, Felix ! 

Roach. Horace ! Martha ! We will make our fort- 
unes ! 

Mrs. R. How ? 

Candy. Eh ! (puts newspaper on writing-table) 

Roach. We will all buy at once. Listen. One of the 
largest shareholders is a man named Rennick. 

Mrs. R. (rising, aside) Oh ! 

Candy, (aside) Rennick ! Extraordinary ! The writer 
of the note ! 

Roach. I happen to remember his name, because he 
was constantly writing to the Board. He knows nothing 



THE NEW BOY. 61 

of business. In fact, from his letters, I should set him 
down as more than half an idiot. 

Mrs. R. (aside) My Archibald ! 

Roach. By the way, Martha ; he lives in your part of 
the country, near Manchester. 

Mrs. R. Oh— yes. 

Roach. He is not a friend of yours ? 

Mrs. R. Yes — a friend, (goes to windows R. , looking for 
Rennick) 

Roach. Indeed ? Humph. 

Candy, (rising ; aside) Now, I remember ! The man 
w^ho wanted to marry her. 

Roach, (aside) This is a little awkward. 

Candy, (aside) From that note, he must be in the 
neighborhood ! He has followed Martha ! 

Roach. Well — of course, in business it is everyone for 
himself. That is one of the first principles. 

Candy, (aside) Which he has thoroughly mastered. 

Roach. Consequently, I propose that we make this Mr. 
Rennick an offer to buy the whole of his shares at — say five 
shillings a piece. He will probably jump at it — he is such 
an ass — and we shall eventually realise a large profit. 
What do you say, Horace ? 

Candy. Well — (going to Roach) would this be con- 
sidered an honest transaction ? 

Roach. Honest ? ! 

Candy. Doesn't it strike you as scarcely honorable ? 

Roach. Honorable ? ! It's business. 

Candy. Is it ? 

Roach. To be sure. You take your chance ; Rennick 
takes his. It is merely a game. 

Candy. I see. A game of " beggar-my-neighbor.'* 
(aside) What a plausible scamp ! 

Roach. Well, now , we haven't a moment to lose. I 
believe the best plan would be for me to go and see him. 
Yes, I had better run down to Manchester, (goes R.) 

Candy. Mr. Rennick is not in Manchester. 

Mrs. R. (aside, surprised) What does he mean ? 

Roach. How do you know ? 

Candy. I have just heard from him. 

Mrs. R. (nervously, going toward c, at back) You 
have — heard from him ? • - 

Candy. Yes. 

Roach. What was it ? 

Candy. A very interesting communication, Felix. 

Mrs. R. (aside) Archibald has told him ! ! 

Roach. But what brings him here ? 

Candy. I think Martha can inform you. 

Mrs. R. (comes down to Candy) Horace ! Oh, Horace 
— I see you know everything ! 



62 THE NEW BOY. 

Candy. Well, he certainly opened my eyes. 

Mrs. R. {afraid to look at Candy) You — you must 
liave been — astounded ! ! 

Candy. Not altogether. 

EOACH. {aside) This fellow, Rennick, has come after 
Martha ! 

Candy, {looking at Roach) I had had my suspicions. 

Mrs. R. {greatly agitated) Horace — we — we were very 
wrong ; but it was my fault— mine entirely. You will not 
Wame Archibald ? 

Candy. So it is " Archibald " now. 

Mrs. R. Yes. He was guided by me. I was foolishly 
afraid to tell you. You appeared so averse to it, and so we 
agreed to conceal it. If you cannot forgive me, at least 
let me beg you not to be harsh with him.. 

Candy. My dear Martha ! I owe Mr. Rennick a debt 
of gratitude. I can't quite understand why it is, or how 
it is, or where he is ; but he has done me a good turn which 
I shall never forget. 

Mrs. R. How kind — how very kind you are ! 

Candy, {aside) Poor Martha ! I shall die a bachelor. 
{comes down l. ) 

Roach, {goes to Mrs. R. ) Martha {holding out his 
hand), my warmest congratulations. Give my compli- 
ments to Mr. Rennick and tell him to hold the shares. 

Mrs. R. {coldly) Thank you. I will. 

Roach, {aside) Damn! {turns up n.) 

{Enter Nancy quickly by windows r.) 

Nancy. They're here — they're coming back. I saw- 
Monsieur de Brizac at the gate, {runs off by windows) 

Mrs. R. Thank goodness ! 

Candy. I'm very glad. You must forgive me, Martha. 
I was annoyed, naturally annoyed, and I fear you must 
Jhave thought me very unfeeling. 

{Enter Nancy by windows quickly.) 

Nancy, {at windows, looking off) No ! Freddy's nofc 
there ! Monsieur de Brizac is alone 1 

Mrs. R. {alarmed) Alone ! 

Candy. How is that ? 

Mrs. R. Oh, Horace ! 

Candy, {calming her) Now, my dear Martha. 

Roach. Perhaps the case hasn't come on yet. 

Mrs. R. Then we must go and stop it ! 

Candy. Stop it ? ! 

Nancy. Here he is. (De Brizac appears at windows) 
W^ell? well? 



THE NEW BOY. 53 

(Enter De Brizac by ivindoios r.) 

Candy. Is it a fine ? 

De B. No. 

Mrs. R. Not imprisonment ? ! 

De B. No. 

EOACH. They've dismissed the case ? 

De B. No. I am sorry to say 

Mrs. R. Yes? Well! 

De B. The magistrate has ordered him to receive twelve 
strokes with a birch rod ! 

Mrs. R. What ? ! ! ! (screams and bursts into an hy- 
sterical fd of sobbing.) 

Candy. My dear Martha ! 

Nancy. Cousin Martha ! 

Mrs. R. (ivildly) Arcliibald ! Oh, Archibald ! It mustn't 
1)6 — Don't stand tliere ! Do something — stop them — 
Horace — Felix — quick — quick — save him— Oh, good heav- 
ens — save him ! ! ! 

Candy. Martha, Martha ; if the boy 

Mrs. R. What boy? 

Candy. Freddy. 

Mrs. R. He's not a boy — you know he's not — he's Archi- 
l)ald, Freddy's Archibald ! ! 

Roach. Freddy's Archibald ! ! 

Candy. Freddy's Archibald ? ! ! ! 

Mrs. R. Why do you w^ait? Every moment is pre- 
cious ! ! Go — go ! 1 ! 

Candy. Where's my hat ? Never mind ! (runs to win- 
dows, R.) Good heavens ! ! 

Roach, (running to ivindoivs R.) Well, I'm hanged ! I 

Candy. Freddy's Archibald ! ! ! ! [runs off R.) 

Roach. Freddy's Archibald ! ! ! ! (runs off R. ) 

De B. (excitedly to Nancy) Freddy's Archibald ! ! ! 
{runs off R. ) 

Mrs. R. (goes r. quickly) Oh dear ! Oh gracious ! 
What have I done ? ! They may be too late ! Even now, 
Archibald may be — oh — oh I ! 

Nancy, {coming down l. of Mrs. R.) Cousin Martha \ 
Dear Cousin Martha ; what is it ? I don't understand. 
Who is Archibald ? 

Mrs. R. (gasping for breath) Freddy is Archibald. 
I mean Archibald is Freddy ! 

Nancy. But who is Archibald ? ! 

Mrs. R. (crossing L. and going up stage a little) My 
Iiusband. 

Nancy, (following her) But how can your husband be 
Freddy ? 

JVlRS. R. He is. 

ITancy. Freddy — is your husband ? 



64 THE NEW BOY. 

Mrs. R. Yes. 

Nancy. That little boy ? ! 

Mrs. R. That was my mistake. 

Nancy. But why did you marry a boy? ! 

Mrs. R. He's not a boy. He's a man. Mr. Renniok. 

Nancy. A man ? ! ! ! 

Mrs. R. {commg down L.) And if anything should 
happen — {sinks into chair L.) that is where the sting 
would be ! ! 

Nancy, {going r. aside) Mr. Rennick. Well, I always 
thought he was in advance of his looks ! 

{Enter Rennick d. l. c.) 

Rennick. Martha. 

Mrs. R. Archibald ! {jumping up and going to Mm) 
My own — my precious ! Thank heaven, you have come. 
Oh, my dearest ! 

Rennick. Martha. It's all over. 

Mrs. R. Over? ! (throwing her arms round him) Oh, 
my love, my martyr, my poor suffering lamb 1 How could 
they — oh, how could they ? ! ! 

Rennick. Oh, you heard the sentence ? 

Mrs. R. Yes. Didn't you see them ? 

Rennick. Who ? 

Mrs. R. They were too late ! I knew they would be i 
Oh, Archibald ; it was carried out ; you have received — 

Rennick. No, I haven't. 

Mrs. R. What ! Do you mean they didn't—? 

Rennick. No. They didn't. 

Mrs. R. {with intense relief) Oh ! I have been under- 
going torture, thinking that you were ! 

Rennick. I'm very sorry, Martha. I've been tolerably 
patient. I've put up with a good deal one way and an- 
other, but I had to draw the line somewhere. 

Mrs. R. Yes, dear, yes? 

Rennick. There w^as no time to be lost ; the sentence 
was to be carried into execution at once ; so I had no 
alternative but to tell the magistrate who I was and to give 
him the whole story. He accepted my personal bail and 
remanded me for inquiries. 

Mrs« R. Darling, how thankful we ought to be ! 

Rennick. It is a relief, I admit. But it's all out now, 
Martha. We can't keep it from Candy. 

Mrs. R. He knows, dear ; they all know. 

R-ENNICK. Do they ? Does Nancy know ? 

Nancy, {shyly) Yes, Mr. Rennick, {aside) I've been 
flirting with a married man ! I'm getting plenty of ex- 
perience ! 



THE NEW BOY. ^5 

{Enter Candy, Roach, and De Brizac by windows r. 
T%ey are all out of breath. ) 

Candy. Ah ! He's here ! (going to Rennick ivith out- 
stretched hand) My dear Mr. Rennick — I am delighted. 
We have heard of your being remanded. You will be dis- 
charged, of course ; but what an ordeal — what an ordeal ! 

Rennick. Thank you. It has been a little trying. 

Mrs. R. My poor dear husband. 

Candy. Husband ! 

Roach. Husband! ! 

De B. Husband ! ! ! 

Candy, {aside) Married already ! Hah ! I begin to 
understand ! 

Roach, {to Mrs. Rennick) Your husband ? ! ! That 
thing ? ! ! 

Rennick. Yes, Felix ; things are not what they seem ; 
not even Dry Champagne shares. 

Candy, My dear Mr. Rennick ; what can I say — what 
can I do ? 

Rennick. You can oblige me by using your influence 
■with our friend Felix on behalf of — ( pointing to De 
Brizac and Nancy) those young people, {sits on couch 
L. with Mrs. Rennick) 

Roach. Eh ? What ? What's this ? ! 

De B. Monsieur Roach. It is true. We love each other, 

Nancy. Yes, father, dear. 

Roach. Absurd, ridiculous — I won't hear of it ! 

De B. Monsieur Roach, I can never give her down ! 

Nancy. Up. 

De B. Up ! 

Roach. Go away, sir. 

Candy. Felix. Perhaps this may help you to arrive at 
a more favorable decision, {gives him the note he had from, 
Rennick) Nancy, my child ; I have always promised my- 
self the pleasure of providing you with a little dowry 
when the time came, and it seems that time has come. 

Nancy. How very good you are. 

Roach, {aside) Dowry ! He said dowry I 

Candy. Felix. If you think it well for us to say noth- 
ing more about that note, pray destroy it and I shall take 
that for your answer. (RoACH tears up the note) Good. 
(to Nancy) My warmest congratulations. De Brizac is a 
capital fellow. And now for Master Bullock. Nancy, 
will you kindly ring the bell? {comes downjL,) 

Rennick. ( jumping up) Allow me. {rings bell) 

Roach, {making the best of it) My dear child ; you 
have chosen well. De Brizac, one stipulation. You must 
not take her away. You will be comfortably off, and— I 
couldn't live without her. 

5 



eij THE NEW BOY. 

(Enter SxJSAH.) 

Susan. Did you ring, sir ? 

Candy. Susan, send Master Bullock to my study and 
tell him. to wait there till I come. 

Susan. Yes, sir. {exit) 

Rennick. Allow me. (takes cane from sideboard and 
gives it to Candy) I leave Master Bullock in your hands. 

Candy. Mr. Rennick, I have to ask your pardon. 

Rennick. Don't mention it, my dear sir ; pray don't 
mention it. Our relations have unfortunately been some- 
what strained, and I have certainly suffered a little tem- 
porary inconvenience ; but we must always remember that 
any rigorous measures you were called upon to exercise 
were not intended to apply to me but — to the new boy. 

Curtain. 



LofC. 



FRENCH'S LIBRARY EDITION OF PLAYS. 

50 CENTS EACH, 



M F 



1. MAQDA. A Play in 4 Acts. By Hermann Sudermann. 

This play is considered the masterpiece of the g:reat German 
dramatist, and the translation is by Charles Edward Emory 
Winslow. This is the version played by Mrs. Patrick Campbell 
with enormous success in this country o » 

2. WHEN WE WERE TWENTY=ONE. A Comedy in 4 

Acts. By H. V. Esmond, author of " One Summer's Day,'' 
etc. Produced with great success by Mr. N. C. Goodwm and 
Maxine Elliott ^ ^ 

3. LADY HUNTWORTH'S EXPERIMENT. A Comedy 

in 3 Acts. By R. C. Carton, author of "Liberty Hall," 
"Lord and Lady Algy," etc., etc 6 4 

4. AN AMERICAN CITIZEN. An Original Comedy in 

4 Acts. Bv Madeleine Lucette Ryley. This particularly 
bright comedy was produced with enormous success by Mr. 
N. C. Goodwin and played by him for a number of years « 

5. A COUNTRY MOUSE. A Satirical Comedy in 3 Acts. 

By Arthur Law, author of "The New Boy," etc., etc. Produced 
with great success by Miss Ethel Barry more o * 

6 The New Boy. A Farcical Play in 3 Acts. By Arthur 

Law, author of "A Country Mouse," "The Judge." etc., etc... 6 3 

7. WOODBARROW FARM. A Comedy in 3 Acts. 

By Jerome K Jerome, author of " Barbara," " Sunset, etc.. . .11 4 

8. BILLIE'S LITTLE LOVE AFFAIR. A Comedy in 3 

Acts. By H. V. Esmond, author of "One Summer's Day," 
"When We Were Twenty-One," etc., etc This comedy was 
produced last season under the title of "Imprudence," with 
Mr William Faversham in the leadmg role o o 

9. LADY WINDEMERE'S FAN. A Play in 4 Acts. 

By Oscar Wilde. This play is too well known to require any 
special introduction. It has been considered Mr. Wilde s best ^ ^ 
play 



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